In a welcome break with the tradition of the weekly blog competition, this week our blog competition is both topical and has a fantastic prize up for grabs.
The lovely folk at Paddy Power Mobile have recently launched paddypower.com for the Blackberry and to shamelessly garner attention for this technological development, we’re giving you the chance to win a Blackberry Torch – a phone that someone tells us is worth quite a lot of money – so much money in fact that none of the Paddy Power Journalists were allowed to hold it earlier when it was whipped out of an office drawer. And rightly so.
Here’s how to win:
We’re asking you to tell us which historical figure would you text and what would you say to them? For example:
To: Abraham Lincoln
Hey Abe. Wouldn’t bother goin 2 the theatre 2nite, the 2nd act is a bit crap anyway.
There’s no limit to word count, but bear in mind it is meant to be a text message of 160 characters or less so an essay won’t really do the job. Young person text-speak is optional, but humour and wit is not.
We’re judging the quality of the answers by the number of thumbs up they get. So if you enter, it’s in your interests to get your friends/family/casual acquaintances/former spouses/people you see regularly on the train/that nice guy who installed the Sky a while back to give your answer a thumbs up on the blog (exactly what we’re talking about pictured below) Stick your answers in the comments section below and then get the finger out by looking for some thumbs up. And feel free to have more than one go, but be warned, that could split the vote.
Full Instructions for Thumbs Ups
Obviously we’ll get quite a few entries, so this is the best way to get your friends to “Thumbs up” your specific comment. If you click the time and date link on your comment you will get a link like this:
http://paddypowerblog.wordpress.com/2011/05/25/ssshh-its-our-champions-league-money-back-special/#comment-4776 —-> Your friends will be brought straight to your comment once you share your link on Facebook, Twitter etc. Not Bebo, no one is on that.
We’re going to take the top 5 answers with the most thumbs up and the top 5 answers as judged by our editorial team (not already with a lot of thumbs up), stick them in a metaphorical hat pick a winner at random. It’s worth your while because (a) you’re hilarious and (b) aside from the quality first prize of a Blackberry Torch, we’re also giving away 5 x £/€50 Mobile Free Bets as runners up prizes.
The closing date for the competition will be midnight on Tuesday 2nd August and we’ll announce the winner and runners up when I’m finished checking facebook the following morning.
Best of luck.
Conditions
- Paddy Power decision is final.
- Paddy Power will provide the phone from Vodafone – unlocking/changing of networks etc will be left to the competition winner.
- Anyone suspected of cheating and going against the good spirit of the competition (and we have the technology to tell) will be excluded
- Competition open to Paddy Power customers and anyone who likes this competition and hurriedly opens an account in the next few minutes only.
To JFK :- Duck
Paul McShane France 2009:
Paul, remember the basics tonight, keep your eye on the ball and don’t let henry in behind you
To. Sir Matt busby
Make sure nobody gets on that plane!!!
To that Liverpool fan in hillsbough.
get of my toes your squashing them
To andrew barr oct 2006
Wear a condom!!
To King Harold :- on senlac hill keep ter head down for gods sake…and sack the drunken archer
To Alexander Graham Bell
Id like to say fair play to you for inventing the telephone because of you now we can do more than just make calls, we can text, take photos, email, go online…. Now we can even do our betting online so no more walking down the street to the bookies. So Thanks Alexander Graham Bell for the best invention ever.
Sandra
Why have you randomly copied my answer and used my name I shall be reporting this.
Sandra
Aidan this answer has been stolen of ME!!!
Sir Donald Bradman (Before his last innings where he got out for 0)
“Don’t bother batting today…protect your 100 average”
Date: Circa July 1888
To: Alois Hitler
You know that ride you’re looking forward to tonight, dont bother, trust me, its not worth the hassle.
To Captain Edward John Smith : Dont forget your specsavers appointment before you depart
To Diana : Buckle up
to frankie dettori:-enjoy the trip?
My great great grandfather:
“See this thing? Figure out 2make it n claim u invented it. Invest in petroleum. Don’t booze. Oh, ne1 day, a kid, or a crazy wild-eyed old man who claims to be a scientist is gonna come around asking about that phone . . .”
To Paul McCartney:-
Stay away from women with a limp. x
To Adam: Try a banana instead
To Henry 8th:
If i was you, I would lay off the pigs as you will catch swine flu!!!
Catch it. Bin it. Kill it.!!!! whoooooooooo!!!
To Marilyn Monroe…
Windy with a chance of severe gusts,clean underwear advised
I would text Amy Winehouse and say do you wish you would have said yes yes yes to rehab?
I’d text Amy Winehouse….
Valerie just called over,what should i tell her?
Henry the Eighth
Alright mate, do you want to borrow my missus this week while I go to Goodwood?
To Payne Stewart
Never take a sleeping tablet before you fly ….!!!!
Nicky Lauda ..
Make sure you check is the fire extinguisher is working !!!
I would text myself the following numbers for the euromillions draw dated 12/7/2011 for the prize fund of 161m :-
17,19,38,42,45 lucky stars 9,10
I’d text Michael Collins and tell him to stay in Dublin instead of that trip to Cork. I think Ireland would be a better place today had he lived.
Sorry Eric – by going the extra mile and nailing your Civil War colours to the mast, I think you’ve cost yourself a few votes and shot yourself in the foot. So to speak.
I would take Louis Pasteur to a British pub. We would discuss the history of beer, processes of fermentation, great brewing techniques and why the English and French never seemed to get along.
Martin Luther King
M-Dawg, you’re gona have an amazing dream, but try and keep it brief when telling people about it. Cheers.
To John Lennon
Hi John , don’t come to the gallery tonight because the Japanese conceptual artist has closed her exhibition and left the country .
To :- Harry Houdini
Tricks are for kids mate
To Seve
Thanks
To Roy Keane in Saipan
Triggs is sick, you better skip training today
I hooked a brother up eoin, hope you got me up top!!
what is eoin?
To Franklin D. Roosevelt, December 6, 1941,
Hey FDR, i’d take the boats at out for Pearl Harbour out to sea tomorrow….leave Ben Affleck behind if possible.
To Elvis…..
3 1/2 Pounders 20 Fags and 14 different drugs all while on the bowl just won’t work……
I’d text the Chicken right before he crossed the road and say…..
Don’t do it mate you’ll never hear the end of it.
this my fave!
To Alexander Graham Bell (who claims to have invented the telephone)
If you invented the Telephone Mr Bell can you please explain the voicemails from CHUCK NORRIS…..lol
To Tom Hicks (pre-liverpool takeover)
We may need money but we don’t need the money of a lying cheating idiot. You will walk alone..so don’t bother.
To: Humpty Dumpty
If you ever fall off a wall, don’t let horses have a go at putting you back together, they’ll probably exacerbate the problem if anything.
I’d have a look at the history books you were using in school Tomas! ; )
Did Humpty Dumpty rise to power after Snow White was deposed as Queen of Russia?
I’ve no idea what his priors were before that accident tbh Aidan. If indeed it WAS an ‘accident’…
to: nostradamus any chance of some goodwood tips m8y n none o ya cryptic claptrap t.b
Rupert murdoch
Wile you were the massive media tycoon in 2011! Did you not think of admitting that you knew what was going on!
to joseph of nazareth hi m8 it`s jeremy kyle production team wanted to know if u wanna come on d show wi ur lass n do a d.n.a test?
Imogen Thomas:
Sex?
To Michael Jackson
So wacko, wot colour are you in heaven?
Winston Churchill: (replying to his question about whether to sign up for Paddy Power)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yes!
To Paddy Cullen 1978 All Ireland.
If any dodgy frees are given against you……dont hang around arguing….get back in the goal or it could cost us the game.
to the mother of Ali Bin Nasser (who refereed the match between Argentina and England in the 1986 FIFA World Cup): Please Mrs. Nasser, raise your son to be a HANDBALL ref…..
To Martin Hansson (Referee for the Ireland France match)
Watch out for a Frenchman who thinks hes playing Gaelic Football
To Mr and Mrs winehouse
here is a condom. Believe me you will need it
To Andre villas Boas
Like i said to scolari, hiddink and ancelotti dont go buying a house just yet, 9 month lease on an apartment mabye?
To Amy winehouse
Listen to your dad
Captain Smith Titanic-Avoid Icebeg lettuce with your salad’
LOL – I think the last think the captain needed in the build-up to the sinking was a culinary metaphor ; )
To Edward Kennedy
go along in a closed roof car in Texas.
Whoops wrong john f kennedy.
Isn’t that Jack/John ? (He was shot the day I was born !)
Devon Lock-Visit specsavers before the Grand National.
Amelia Earhart-Where are you.?
Arthur guinness.
Shud have been green stuff arther, not black.
David Haye. Your a looser with your broken toe,wat a crap excuse for getting the head beat off u…lol lol lol lol lol lol lol…..Retire…..Donkey….
to baloteli, wouldnt try any trick shots against la galaxy if i was you
to england world cup teams do not take penalties the world will see you cry when you miss as usual
To James Dean
You may of been the rebel without a cause?? But many have caused a rebel or two and gone your way to the end.. If you was here now would you be the iconic f1 rebel causing trouble on the tracks?? Making Lewis ham a pussy cat compared??
To marilyn manroe
Looks like you left your Mark alright… Many to follow in your footsteps .. Just like kurt kobain.. Winehouse and jack to mention a few.. Seems you become more famous what’s left than to die and be made an icon???
To Ronaldinho
Mate, I think you should consider a career change, neva seen some1 who could lob semen from 40 yards.
To Henry VIII,
Have you met my wife?
To Al Capone
Mate if i were you i would have a look at your tax returns! Sharpish!
To George W Bush,
Can you guess my shoe size?
37 people yeah right u must have a big friend group
theres my vote vak, GL xx
Haha V I thought you was joking about this! anyway will always show my support
Haha bussshhhh!!!!! Hope you win bruv.
showing my support ..
x
hey barack,i wudnt bother bout goin back to moneygall,as far as i know now,ur a TIPPMAN now nd not a BIFFO!!!!!!!
To David Beckham,
Harper Seven? Why not ‘Apollo Thirteen’?
To Michael Jackson
Are u enjoying the moon walk michael??
Text To: Rupert Murdoch
Does the story of Pinocchio mean anything to you Sir ?
To Columbus:
Just make sure you set the sat nav up right man.
To the captain of the titanic:
Bit cocky about this ship of yours…it can’t be thaaaat good!
hi amy! one more for the road, eh?
To Roy “Tin Cup” Mcavoy
Alrite lad. Best v luck 2moro n if still in contention on the 18th, for the love of God lay up. Trust me!
To Darren Clarke,
Keep the head up Darren sorry for your loss,things might be bad now but i predict a big win in 2011. hope this lifts ur spirits.
To John Terry
Stop eyeing my girl you fool!!!
To Eric Cantona
Yo Eric loved the flying kick!!
To Alexander Graham Bell
Id like to say fair play to you for inventing the telephone because of you now we can do more than just make calls, we can text, take photos, email, go online…. Now we can even do our betting online so no more walking down the street to the bookies. So Thanks Alexander Graham Bell for the best invention ever.
Sandra
Brillant Answer!!
Ha Ha good one!!
Thats a fact, Good answer Sandra
I think this is one of the best answers so far. This is true what sandra is saying I would like to thank him myself I would die without my phone….
I Really agree with the statement Suzanne just made
Suzanne:I think this is one of the best answers so far. This is true what sandra is saying I would like to thank him myself I would die without my phone….
Everyone like Sandras post she deserves to win
I vote Sandra
Thanks Every on.. Comments much apreciated THANKS X
Oh Wow Nearly 30 votes Thanks Every one
Well done Sandra – they’re some pretty committed work colleagues you’ve got there ; )
Thanks Aidan they really want me to win
Am I looking good
for the top 5 
We in the office want Sandra to win Aidan!!!
Just came back to see how your doing.. Fair play to ya Sandra ive asked a few facebook buddys to vote you aswell..
Good Luck & Fingers Crossed !!!!!
Vote Sandra she really needs a new phone hers is crap lol
Good going Sandra and work colleagues!
I don’t know what producitvity has been like around the office today, but that’s an impressive show of support.
At the moment you’re on course for the Top 5, but there’s a few days to go yet, so no promises!
Best of luck.
Oh I hope so
Let her win Aidan if we have to listen to her any more in here, Vote for me Vote for, Its possible we could kill her ha ha.
Go Sandra Go Sandra
Just stopped by to see how you are doing pretty well by the looks of it. I got every one to vote at home last night for you. Good Luck x
Whens the winner announced
????
Any chance of disqualifying this for breaching the entry rules:
“Young person text-speak is optional, but humour and wit is not.”
This totally lacks any humour (probably because it’s from a woman).
No need to be so petty.. Just move along now and bug some one else dan…
You’re right Dan! Not a smidgeon of humour and not technically correct either. It is Marconi she should be thanking as he invented pasta with cheese and the radio telegraph which was the precursor to the telephone. Now go to your room Sandra!!!
Go get your Some friends to vote your answers and stop trying to get mine disqualified because use are sore losers!! Very sad lifes use must have…
I think you’re confusing Marconi with macaroni, my beloved.
As a child, Sandra never would share her toys with the other children and has always harboured a slightly selfish attitude. If only she were born a boy. The laughter that would have filled our household. But sadly it wasn’t to be. NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM SANDRA!!!
Grow up you sad little people its only a competition!! Go Sandra ignore them sados and GOOD LUCK only a few hours left
To Alexander Graham Bell
Id like to say fair play to you for inventing the telephone because of you now we can do more than just make calls, we can text, take photos, email, go online…. Now we can even do our betting online so no more walking down the street to the bookies. So Thanks Alexander Graham Bell for the best invention ever.
Sandra
TO- GUY Fawkes.
Hope your party went off with a BANG !!
To: Michaelangelo
Oi mate. You missed a bit.
To Rewilding-
Hope your having fun up there big man! Giving them all a run for their money im sure.. you’ll always be a winner x
To Hitler:
Love your art! I reckon it’d be worth putting all your time and energy into it! ttyl x
To Moses as he goes up the mountain ‘Dont accept anything on tablets nothing less than the Blackberry if your getting those rules and regulations’
To Lester Piggot
Hey Lester I would run that tax calculation by your accountant before you post it off. Better safe than sorry mate.
to Sir Walter Raleigh
You asshole im hooked on 40 a day
TO: Mr Ed
Hey Eddie. Any chance u can pop in to Canford and Frankel and ask them what they are planning to do 2day. Think their fones are switched off.
Text me back.
Cheers dude. Few carrots in it for you
To Noah,
Take an umbrella, it is gunna chuck it down later on!
to ruby walsh
dont get on Friendly Society
To Constance Markievicz,
I was really impressed with you skills at the march last Monday. Even some of the guys noticed your courage.
to the last government
don’t bail out the banks
To: Granny Hitler
Can’t make lunch today perhaps you could have that contraception talk with your daughter
Wayne Rooney
were did you get your hair transplant? i love it
Joan of Arc……….. go easy on the hair spray joan.
Paris of Troy
LEAVE THAT DOG OUTSIDE
To Vincent O’Brien
Simple,Vincent you were the greatest trainer ever, in your opinion whose going to win the Duel on the Downs between Canford Cliffs and Frankel?
You could go and lump on his answer then
Paris of Troy
LEAVE THE DOG OUTSIDE
Dear Yeats,
Recently saw you in the parade ring at Ascot, getting a bit stiff in your old age don’t you think?
The Mother in Law–”Don`t let your daughter out on the 17th of August,1980.”
To Captain Scott…
Hi m8. R u nr SP yet? Dnt w8 aO – sum1 4n ab2 f u ^. :’-(
Dear Mr Ronseal,
Have you considered the W.A.G market for your Exterior wood stain? It could be used as a fast, long-lasting and attractive alternative to sun-bed treatments.
To Edward O’Grady don’t bother running The Real Article at Tipperary and just go straight for the Galway Hurdle!
To Tiger Woods: Zip up your mickey!!
To:- Michael Jackson
Dont Take the medication !!! it’ll kill you
To Martin Luther King, i 2 have a dream, to win back more money then i lose LoL
To Simon Cowell
Simon theres twins from Ireland going to try out today, but there really adopted sons of Bin Laden & Also they’re in the Illuminati..Save us All & tell them to fuck off…..
To John F Kennedy,
duck!!!
To: Marty McFly
Dear Marty, If my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after you saw the DeLorean struck by lightning. First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I’ve been living happily the last nine months in the year 1885…..oh wait, we don’t have mobile phones in 1885. Shit. I better write you a letter instead.
To Superman
I know your the “man of steel” but leave the horses to Ruby mate.
to Jeff Astle Jeff you were a great player and attacker but, how did you miss that chance against Brazil in the 1970 World Cup , even mi granny could have scored it but still you were a great player .
To Jesus Christ – Do you really want to be reminded so much of that blasted cross?
To Bertie Ahearne….WTF?
Amy whinehouse
amy u should of gone to rehab
To God
Who you backing in the 6.25
To Marco Polo–”Copyright your name,you`ll make a Mint.”
to captain of the titanic keep ya eyes open for icy stuff m8 it`ll save u, n it`ll save countless generations from celine dion
Ashley, Im sending u a wedding invite..Will I just put Mr. Ashley Cole + 3 or 4
Just a quick note MR.Rooney..Dont look directly into the camera
To Emperor Nero ” but for that racket we might have heard the sirens arghhhhh…”
to Ryan Giggs:
“for the same money ya could kill her!”
To the captain of the Titanic – Iceberg right ahead!
text message sent at 11.35pm 14/04/1912
To William Shakespeare
“Thanks for the hardship in School!!!
Sepp Blatter
Step down you muppet
John Terry:
“noticed a cog or 2 missing from your boots, hope it doesn’t affect grip!”
Message Delivered 21:33 21/5/08
To Dell boy
Just to let you know that watch you sold me yesterday is going anti clockwise instead of clockwise
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
To Princess Diana – soz babe but Charles is shagging Camilla and don’t get involved with Dodi else you’ll end up as extinct as a dodo ps the driver is drunk x
to – Maggie Thatcher—- Plumber here, of course the sink is leaking there is no U turn attached,sorry I meant U bend
To FiFA in 1974
Beware of anyone who goes by the name Sepp Blatter. I have heard some rumours about backhanders.
to William Sheakespeare
what on earth are you on about man?
RTE commentator George Hamilton – Exercise caution when describing substitutions not “He’s pulling him off! the Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!”
To Paddy Power…….Any tips on picking a winner
To Enda Kenny…..What’s the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
To: Julius Caesar
Hi Juli, just met Marcus Brutus for lunch, he et tu! keep an eye on him tonight, he’s as sharp as a knife today! C u LVIIIR
Hey Elvis,next time ur at the chemist, pick up some laxatives,trust me they will come in handy!
Hey Hitler you keep going on about Fatherland! set up the state of Israel, OK you’ll piss the Arabs off but think what you’ll save on your Gas bill.
To Emperor Nero-”Stop fiddling and call the fire brigade.”
To – Glenn Mcgrath,
Don’t ask Eddo Brandes why he’s so fat
To: English Steve, Irish Mick,Scottish Barry;
you’re all going to the pub? is this some sort of joke?!
To Charlie Sheen:
Channel 5 have announced they will be shortly be releasing a new sitcom starring you and Kolo Toure:
Two And a Half Grams.
to dermot weld
what are you feeding your horses please send details to me care of paddypower .com
Alfie Haaland – Hey Alfie, just say sorry to Keane and move on
Princess Diana – I’d take a different route!
to walter rally thanks any way for the duty free did they no have menthol superkings
Churchill to Eisenhower; Don’t bother with the beach mate, can’t get near it for German towels.
to diego maradonna
guess wot dago ? they only got that bloody stevie wonder reffing england game tonight !!!
To Sheikh Mansour ( Man City Owner)
Keep the 100million receipt for Aguero in safe place, Liverpool lost Torres one.
Michael Jackson:
Hey Mate fancy coming to watch us play Villa on the 13th, text back Mo xxx
Princess Diana: Hey babe beware Arabs tunnels and drunk Frenchmen x
To: Oliver Cromwell
Stay out of our country u big nosed s**t, Kind regards; Ireland
To Mary Rose ship builder-”Find yourself a good lawyer,”
TO : Adam ( Adam and Eve) – Hey Adam your so lucky not to have a mother- in-law , u must be in Paradise.
palmero didnt have much thun
Osama Bin Laden
You can run but you can’t hide
To Paddy Power thank you for your website where would we be without it
henry viii- who ate all the pies????
dear Adam… seriously man don’t eat that apple….
To Brian… Save some of that MONEY we are going to need it!!!!
My Father-in-law (God rest his soul)
Hey Tom, if I get drunk at the party tonight and ask for your daughters hand in marriage, just remember what an absolute wanker I am and say NO
Walter Raleigh no need to lose the head mate
To Alan Shepard (Apollo 14) :
If you can get that ball airborne it’ll be the longest drive EVER.
To “Popham Down” – riderless horse, fence 23, Aintree Grand National, 1967.
So, pls can u tell us yor thorts when u came to the smallest fence 2nd time round. . . ?
Noah:
Don´t forget the Unicorns or they will be mythed
To Sepp Blatter
When will u put in goal line technology and stop cheating england out of world cups?
News Of The World:
Fancy a game? Cluedo, Monopoly, Eye-spy……..
To Anne Boleyn
I don’t like your odds of survinvg your marriage. Unless you can give GOOD HEAD
To Zinedine Zidane
This is your final game, use your head out there and go out with a bang!
Elvis,
Was it something you ate?
to william hanna and joseph barbera 1979 i hear ya thinking of introducing a nephew called scrappy to the scooby show. DON`T …JUST DON`T
to Oscar Wilde Hey Oscar i know we’ re to meet tonight, but I’ll be buggered if i can remember when !
To Michael Cusack (Founder of the Gaelic Athletic Association-GAA in 1884)
Darragh: “Michael! Why are we setting up a Gaelic Games board here in Hayes Hotel, Tipperary tonight, Saturday of all nights when were supposed to be having a few pints of Guinness with the lads?”
Michael: “Well with the subscriptions we’ll collect, Paddy Power has given me great odds that the GAA will last for over 130years with a free Blackberry Torch thrown in. I don’t really care too much about the money, my great great great great great great grandson can argue what odds exactly were given but I’m more interested in the Torch Paddy is giving away, it has to be better than bringing in turf every 5mins to light a fire!
Darragh: “In that case throw me down for £5 Michael and we’ll start the first Christmas of the GAA on a bright note!”
Alan Hansen
At the end of the day, football means not having to go to Sainsburys on Saturday!
To Seve ballesteros
A Scotsman gave up the game after 25 years. He lost his ball.
To Thomas Crapper
“Sorry TC… I’d give it 10 minutes if I were you”.
To John Denver
Just thought I’d let you know, I’ve taken your parachute to the dry cleaners. Luv ya xx
Circa mid 1900′s
Hello Mrs. Power. Quick head’s up. If you have any sons, have a long hard think about what to name them. If one of them ever does anything with their life, such as becoming a bookie, I don’t think Charles Power will cut the mustard…
to amy winehouse
hey amy have you heard the new amy winehouse Mc Value Meal just coke and ice
To Zinedine Zidane, when i said use your head………..
Bill Clinton – Mate, only employ really ugly interns.
Sad news today, the guy who wrote the hokey cokey passed away on tuesday. At his funeral they put the right leg into the coffin, and that’s when the trouble started…..
Hey Columbus, using nav on iphone. battery about to die. bit lost. need directions. meet me. Dover dock.
To : Brian Griffin
Never borrow money off Stewie
to mr paddy power,(be4 he opened his first bettin office)=Paddy auld stock if this betting shop dream falls thru im sure i can fix you up with a painting job or something
To Finegas
Cook the salmon yourself
To the Cincinnati Kid
Fold he has straight flush
To Walter Swinburn[jockey]!
Today u ride shergar in the epsom derby, i want u to give it a good ride keep him in mid-division and let him go when u think so.Come on Walter u can do this!!!!
From Sir Micheal Stoute!!!(trainer)
To: Anyone who had their phone hacked
Rupert/Rebecca/James stop reading this you nosey wanker….
PADDY POWER.
DID YOUZ ASK TINA TUNNER TO WRITE UZ A SONG.AND SHE CAME UP WITH SIMPLY THE BEST.
i would text Ally McLeod (back in 1978) and tell him Scotland have a real chance of winning the World Cup, and that he should tour the country and whip us up into a frenzy. Oh, he did!!!!!!!
To Mr T
Can you pick up milk?
dont fon a friend fon PADDY POWER……
ANY CHANCE OF A FREE BET PLEASE.
THANKS FOR THE E,MAIL MUCH APPRECIATED PP WILL USE IT TOMMOROW.
LONG LIVE THE IRISH.
TRAPPATONI FOR TAOISEACH.
REP OF IRELAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP
SINN FEIN TO ANNOUNCE THE ISLAND OF IRELAND IS NOW A UNITED IRELAND.
THE QUEEN TO START SPEAKING THE IRISH LANGAUGE
NEVER NEVER NEVER SAYS A DEFIANT IAN PAISLEY…
To Hitler
It was no fuc king dream man, hope you wake up in a living nitemare and never come from it
Karl Marx
If only you was here now.. you would have a field day, that i can guarentee
Ayrton Senna – You should have gone to specsavers
To Satan
So tell me your story??
Hitler
We all know your Grandfather was Jewish, was is that bad? most would choose another way but not you why?
Thomas Andrews, probably not a good idea to design the titanic mate !
Dear Eminem
You should probably reply to that Stan fella…
Pass the microphone on Enda, Barack’s freezing his arse off behind you! Oh, and you’re hair’s lovely!
to senator norris
looks like the bookies get my money again.
someone always digs up the muck
To: George Best
Hey m8 i no u have ur FA cup final 2moro, fancy a few bevvies 2nyt, Miss World is on in LDN bound 2 pick up a few fine fillies & get them back 2 the hotel for a prematch sesh. tb Alex Higgins x
username – luke_2k8
To Otto Titzling—”Your invention will have billions of Knockers but don`t give up.”
To King Harold (@ the Battle of Hastings)
You may get someone to sort out that lunatic with the bow and arrow before he puts someones eye out
To Rihanna:
Any chance na??
To John Logie Baird
Absolutely nothing on the box again tonight. Fancy coming round for a game of charades?
To – Michael Fish
Subject – Tonight’s Weather
Michael, some crazy woman phoned in for you. She said something about a storm but I wouldn’t mention it on air.
to paul revere
the red coats are here…
lol
only joking
ps
they are actually coming though :/
To King Harold,
Watch out for that fumbling idiot archer he’ll have someones eye out!!
To : William Shakespeare
So…wat reli happnd in Hamlet? Gotz board readin it afta 5 mins man!!!
sepp Blatter:
Goal line technology is a good idea….. It can tell you when youve stepped over the line.
Yeah Di it’s me.. tried phoning, but you must be in a tunnel somewhere? Call me wen u get Hm….
victoria & david. Are you both bonkers. Harper seven. Hahaha. No no no.
Mr murdock…sorry carnt get to phone right now but no worrys your paper wud of picked it up
hey. Casanova. You jammy bugger. Ps. Was your first name jonny.
To: Osama Bin Laden
FREEMSG: Our records indicate you may be entitled to 3750 pounds for your recent “misfortune”. To claim for free, reply with YES to this msg. To opt out text STOP
dear timmy mallet.stop being a twat
Mr thomas fariner. Baker to the king. Pudding lane. Dear tommy. If you thought 1665 was a bad year. Just you wait. Word of advice.sack the maid.
kermit the frog. You muppet. Hahaha.now thats funny.
To: Pierre De Fermat:
Hey Fermat, what was your proof to the Fermat’s last theorem that no one could prove till date?
This sums up how I feel about this answer
To Obama
How did u manage to become an american from an african?
To Nostradamus ,
Stop talking sh*te pal
To mike the situation
If I had a face like yours. I’d sue my parents.you are a total twat go shot urself in the face and do the world a favour
to paddy power
my phone sucks its doesnt even have a camera.its also about 10 years old.prove to me im not the most unluckiest person ever
To: The GAA Founders
Can you please stick a few cameras around the goal lines (box) in croke park when your building it!! It might come in handy in 2011!!
To: William Shakespeare
Wat is up wiv u 2day bruv? Don U understand Inglish, or wah?
robert green, england goalkeeper world cup 2010.
Safe hands keeper!!
To referee before Louth v Meath Leinster final 2010:
Just a reminder now…you cant just throw a ball into the goal…it doesnt count.
to henry. cork were wondering if you could join them next year after all you are better than any of there gaa players.
To Toshiba , Wish start up was quicker, miissed soooo many winners trying to long on to P.P.
To Jack Walker summer 1995
Ray Harford is right you know Jack , you DO need Zidane even though you have Tim Sherwood at the club !!
Paul McGrath
Coming for a few sociables?
To David Beckham
Bet you can’t score one of those free kicks against Greece…
to fabio capello
get a life u r useless
Sir Bobby Moore 1966 World Cup
Tell your boys to make the most of it, England wont be winning the cup again for a while yet. Not unless you are the England Rugby Team!
hello just wondering if there was a winnner !!!!!!!!!!!
To George Foreman:
Nope- Ali ain’t gonna hit ya with a soap on a rope he’s gonna whup ya with rope-a-dope – guess you better stick to grilling fool…
To Michael Stout:
See that dog food…that’s Shergar that is
hot dog , do we have a weiner ?
Hi guys, the result is in:
http://paddypowerblog.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/and-the-winner-of-a-lovely-blackberry-torch-is/
i wqnt to win
My vote, hope you win bruv.