HOME SWEET HOME: Deana Uppal was the first contestant in the house
Big Brother has returned to our screens with a line up more colourful than Joey Barton’s criminal record.
Last night 16 people (who could all easily be considered dangerous to normal society) entered the house including a teacher-turned-porn star, an ex-Playboy bunny, a flirty bailiff and a former LA gang member.
Channel 5 has managed to put together a group that are so sexually charged they’ll turn the house in to something similar to the Tulisa video.
This is as long as it doesn’t turn in to a massive brawl first. The contestants are fiery, blunt and more combustible than a caged Roy Keane being repeatedly prodded by Patrick Viera.
Deana Uppal is the current Miss India UK and the 23-year-old had to stick three people up for the boot despite only just meeting them with the eviction on Friday.
Favourite to be first out of the door is Lydia Louisa (25) who is 8/11 to be voted off.
KICKED OUT: Lydia is odds on to be leaving on Friday
The professional dancer can be described as the lowest rank of ‘celebrity’, behind Jamie Theakston’s dog and the man who once lived next door to Noel Edmond’s mum.
She is in fact engaged to Andy Scott-Lee who is the brother of Lisa from Steps. She is allergic to alcohol and can’t walk away from confrontation which bodes terribly for a night out in Bradford let alone on Big Brother.
Victoria Eisermann is 5/4 for a swift exit. The 41-year-old from Reading is covering all the key employment bases during these hard times by being a plus size model, a budding DJ and an animal rights campaigner.
She wants to win so she can use the money to start a vegan handbag company which is the most ridiculous idea since square watermelons.
Last up for eviction is Conor McIntyre (24) from Derry. The personal trainer is the outside 8/1 shot to leave the show at this early stage after describing himself as ‘the sexiest 24-year-old from Derry. Fact!’
On Friday night one of these three will leave the house and be back in the real world. Please enjoy the sanity of the next few days without them as soon they will be plastered across newspapers and TV shows for the foreseeable future.
(Pictures: Channel 5)
