Caroline Wozniacki – Dane and lover of shaggy-haired golfers
Fun Fact…
Denmark is the happiest country in the world according to the United Nations World Happiness Report 2012. For a long time it was thought wide-spread bacon consumption played a part in causing this happiness, but it later transpired it mainly caused heart disease.
Wikipedia ‘Fact’…
Denmark is flatter than a week old bottle of Lidl brand cola. The highest mountain in the country is 170 metres tall. In fact, if you show a Dane anything over 20 feet tall, they will go into the brace position until the object is out of sight. In fact, Jack and the Beanstalk is considered a horror story throughout the country.
National Hero…
Rape and pillage was a national speciality for much of the Viking age, but since then Danes have excelled in numerous diverse fields. Arguably the one with the greatest influence is Hans Christian Anderson. The author gained worldwide fame for penning such fairytales as ‘The Emperors New Clothes’, ‘The Little Mermaid’ and ‘The Ugly Duckling’. Academics have since posited that his fairytales carry undertones of sexual frustration and homosexuality, a claim backed up by his lesser known works ‘God, I’d Hump Anything Right Now’ and ‘The Pool Boy And The Misunderstanding In The Sauna’.
Football Pedigree…
Denmark has produced a multitude of top quality footballers and generally been a banana skin everyone says they want to avoid. Peter Schmeichel, Jan Molby and Denmark’s Nevilles, the Laudrup brothers being some of the more internationally famous names. The Danes finished third in Euro 1984, but their greatest moment came eight years at Euro 92. They surprised the footballing world by winning the tournament. It was even more surprising as they hadn’t qualified. They got a last minute invite thanks to the Yugoslav conflict and took full advantage, beating Germany 2-0 in the final. It was even more remarkable because they did it without the services of star player, Michael Laudrup who refused to play under the manager, Richard Moller Nielson.
Acceptable National Stereotype…
Progressive, trendy and laid-back culture vultures.
Unacceptable National Stereotype…
Bacon-munching, self-important snobs.
Don’t be surprised if they…
Get loads of credit for being tricky to beat, but then get beaten regularly.
