WARNING!!!! This is not a FIFA 13 recreation. This is a GIF of the real life Emile Heskey scoring a real life goal in a real life game of football.
Okay he is now playing in the lesser Australian A-League for the Newcastle Jets but they use the same sized goals and the same shaped ball. It doesn’t matter about the quality of the cow’s arse or the banjo, you still have to bring them together.
It may turn out to be a cruel trick on the poor Jets fans who will be believing that they have signed a a quality goalscorer who is capable of repeating this trick on a regular basis. His goal helped them to a 3-2 away win over Syndey FC.
The GIF is a little wobbly but who could stay still on such a shocking and monumental occasion. Remember where you were this day.
Former Juventus man Alessandro Del Piero also opened his A-League account with a cracking free-kick in this game but we expect that of him.
I can confirm that this report is 100% true.
My big brother is a resident of NSW and a big Newcastle Jets fan. He and his tin lid (child) were at Friday’s puff-ball (football match) against Sydney and although his judgment was slightly impaired due to a couple of schooners (glass’s) of amber nectar (lager), he is convinced that he had witnessed the phenomena of an Emile Heskey goal.
His carpet grub (son) Liam concurred, adding that Heskey’s goal was ripper (of a high standard) and that he in fact made Del Piero look like a big Gala (donkey). In fact, he added, Heskey’s debut goal was the greatest since Alf Stewart scored with a bonza (amazing) bicycle kick to beat goalkeeper Toadfish Rebbechi in the annual Neighbors/Home&Away cup final of 98!!
They went on to tell me that they both now convinced that The Jets will go on to win the Aussie League and the prestigious vegemite cup, then will advance to the European Champions League and flog-the-hell (soundly beat) Inter-Madrid Utd in the final!
Unfortunately my brother couldn’t stand around yabbing (chatting) all day as he was heading to his brother-in-law’s house to suck on some of his piss(?)
I believe every one in attendance was awarded a special certificate signed by the Australian Prime Minister, Kylie Minogue and Crocodile Dundee to confirm that they were there the day that Emile Heskey scored a goal.
The big man now has a goal a game record in the A-League. Did someone say ‘retire at the top’? No? It must have been the wind.