You may have heard about Paddy Power’s deal with Farnborough FC before today. You shouldn’t have. Tuesday was supposed to be the big reveal and a member of our marketing department is being flogged with rubber hoses as you read this. People in marketing like that kind of thing.
So the news is out that Paddy Power has taken over as Farnborough’s main sponsor, saving them from administration in the process. We heard you, Farnborough fans.
On top of slathering their kit and stadium with a generous helping of our new logo, we’ve also helped them put together the strongest line-up of players the world has ever seen. On paper.
The players of the Skrill Conference South side have changed their names by deed poll to those of the greatest footballers to have graced a football pitch. From Gordon Banks in goal to Zinedine Zidane, Pele, Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona outfield. Of course John Terry is in on the action just in case they win something. Even team manager Spencer Day is getting in on the fun and will now stalk the sidelines under his new moniker, José Mourinho.
José, formerly known as Spencer Day, had this to say about the crucial deal:
Over the summer it looked touch and go whether we’d even start the season, but now we’ve got by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. Although it’s not all good news, Pelé and Maradona have almost come to blows over who gets to wear the number 10.
Farnborough’s star-packed line-up will now play at the newly renamed Paddy Power Park. As with anything Paddy Power does there will undoubtedly be critics of this deal. We’re a big company taking advantage of a vulnerable club, or some such twaddle. The truth is without this deal yet another club could have gone bust. Which is not what any true football fan wants. So basically if you criticise us at all then clearly you hate football and you spit on babies. Ahem.
The rest of the coaching staff have joined the manager by adopting new names, with all but one taking those of coaching legends. Assistant-manager Leigh Dynan has been landed with Paddy Power. It’s not a bad name but when it comes to football it carries as much weight as a ‘Wayne Rooney book of the month’ club.
Paddy Power is fully behind ensuring the survival of Farnborough FC and if you want to join the adventure then sign up to the Farnborough Team Page today on PaddyPower.com
Check back for regular updates on the adventures of Messi and co in the Skrill Conference South this season. We’ll bring you exclusive interviews, photos and videos of some of the biggest names football has ever known.
Farnborough full squad list
Kevin Ainsley SCRIVEN – Gordon BANKS
Oliver George TREACHER – ROBERTO CARLOS
Joshua Adam HUGGINS – Lothar MATTHAÜS
Adam Hugh DOYLE – Paolo MALDINI
Alan Francis INNS – Alan HANSEN
Paul Jinnah MASSAQUOI – CAFU
Nathan KOO-BOOTHE – Bobby MOORE
Thomas Andrew McGARRY – Franz BECKENBAUER
Reece Nicholas JONES – George BEST
Stephen Thomas LAIDLER – Paul GASCOIGNE
Scott Paul DONNELLY – David BECKHAM
Merrick Anthony JAMES-LEWIS – Zinedine ZIDANE
Tyrone Michael Justin BERRY – Johann CRUYFF
Daniel BENNETT – Lionel MESSI
Reece William CONNOLLY – Gary LINEKER
David Charles TARPEY – Diego MARADONA
Elvis Zark HAMMOND – PELÉ
Spencer DAY – José MOURINHO
Leigh James Thomas DYNAN – Paddy POWER
Simon John GARDENER – Sir Alex Fergurson
Roger Leslie PEIRCE – Terry Venables