Category: 
Tips for Tuesday 23rd December:
Daily Mirror - Newsboy: Coda Agency 3.30 Southwell
Daily Mirror - Bouverie: Ruby Crown 3.45 Fontwell
The Sun - Templegate: Solent 12.45 Fontwell
The Star - Tony Lewis: Ruby Crown 3.45 Fontwell
Daily Telegraph - Marlborough: Tullamore Dew 1.15 Fontwell
Daily Mail - Robin Goodfellow: Honour High 2.45 Fontwell
Daily Express - Computerman: Cullahill 2.45 Fontwell
The Times - Rob Wright: Brenin Cwmtudu 2.45 Fontwell
The Independent - Chris McGrath: Bench Warrent 1.45 Fontwell
The Guardian: Oracle des Mottes 3.15 Fontwell
There’s a £25/€30 Free Bet as prize for the ‘tip’ of the week posted on our Daily Tips Blog before the end of racing next Sunday (28th). And when we say ‘best tip’, we mean we’re only partially interested in the horse actually winning, as something funny, crude or preferably both is far more likely to win our favour.
December 23rd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
HONOUR HIGH my NAP
OPERA WRITER my NB
happy and fantastic Christmas to all Paddy Power team,,one off the best bookmakers on line. thank you for all the great work you do.
December 24th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
any chance we could have decent tipsters look at the state of the shite above.easy known its only a job to them ,if i got results as bad as that id be sacked.
December 25th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
fairyland 12-55 kempton has a great chance here off bottom weight.was let down by jumping lto but im sure that will be put right on saturday 26th dec.only btn 1.5 lto at ascot and should figure in the finish here,distance no problem and has ground to suit.should be a decent price as well.good luck.
December 26th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
A Christmas Tip-The Miracle of Birth
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad. Can you help?”
I put my best lizard healer __expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
“Honey,” I called, “come look at the lizard!”
“Oh, my gosh!” my wife exclaimed. “She’s having babies.”
“What?” my son demanded. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!”
I was equally outraged. “Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn’t want them to reproduce,” I said accusingly to my wife.
“Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?” she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).
“No, but you were supposed to get two boys!” I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
“Yeah, Bert and Ernie!” my son agreed.
“Well, it’s just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,” she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
“Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,” I announced. “We’re about to witness the miracle of birth.”
“Oh, gross!” they shrieked.
“Well, isn’t THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?” my wife wanted to know.
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
“We don’t appear to be making much progress,” I noted. “It’s breech,” my wife whispered, horrified.
“Do something, Dad!” my son urged.
“Okay, okay.” Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
“Should I call the Hospital?” my eldest daughter wanted to know. “Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.”
(You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
“Let’s get Ernie to the vet,” I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. “Breathe, Ernie, breathe,” he urged.
“I don’t think lizards do Lamaze,” his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God’s sake.).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
“What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” I suggested scientifically.
“Oh, very interesting,” he murmured. “may I speak to you privately for a moment?”
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
“Is Ernie going to be okay?” my wife asked.
“Oh, perfectly,” the vet assured us. “This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn’t EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.” He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
“So, Ernie’s just . . . just . . . excited,” my wife offered.
“Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
“What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. “It’s just . . . that . .. . I’m picturing you pulling on its . . . its . . . teeny little . ..Langer.. ..” She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
“That’s enough,” I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.
He was glad everything was going to be okay.
“I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you did, Dad,” he told me.
“Oh, you have NO idea,” my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: €140.
One cage: €50.
Trip to the vet: €30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard’s Langer: Priceless!
TIP OF THE DAY
Towcester 14.30———THE LANGER
December 29th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
i have just seen Droylsden have been thrown out of FA cup after beating Chesterfield on 23/12. The player who scored the Chesterfield goals was ineligible.. Since Chesterfield beat my accum that night im wondering what PP stance on this will be!?
January 1st, 2009 at 2:59 am
Preach - Pull the other one!