Egged on by, arf, arf, Ranger’s Kirk Broafoot’s exploding egg incident, we’ve compiled a quick Top Ten list of bizarre sporting injuries to accompany the multitude of similar posts that will invariably pop up all over the interweb thingy in the next few days. Let’s leave the egg puns for the Paddy Power homepage and the well-paid sub editors at The Sun and The Mirror. Here’s our not-at-all plagiarised, all from our own memory list. Feel free to remind us of anything we’ve missed or perhaps a similar anecdote about your mother-in-law. I’ve got one of them too.

1. Dave Beasant
Number one has to be the then Southampton goalkeeper. Beasant rather appropriately fumbled a jar of salad cream, and as it slipped through his grasp, he stuck out a foot to stop it shattering on the floor. His right toe ruptured ankle ligaments and the curly haired keeper was sidelined for several weeks. If he did it today, we’d say “that lad couldn’t catch Swine Flu.”

2. Darius Vassell
Not the sharpest of tools in the Man City box at the moment and while at Aston Villa he proved he’s no Bob the Builder either. The former England international decided to put the DIY into DIY surgery when he used a power drill to cut through his toenail and drain a blister. He managed to pick up a nasty infection in the process… with no Danielle Lloyd in sight

3. Kevin Kyle
The then Sunderland striker spent a night in hospital with scalded testicles. The big Scot had been preparing to feed his baby when the youngster, (deliberately, more than likely) knocked a jug of boiling water being used to heat a bottle into his father’s lap. He was “walking like John Wayne” for sometime afterwards.

4. Chic Brodie
Unfortunately the outcome of this isn’t that funny, but whoever said dogs are a man’s best friend was/is a liar. And Brodie would agree. The Brentford keeper had to hang up his gloves in October 1970 when a dog ran onto the pitch and decided to tackle him. His kneecap was shattered.

5. Liam Lawrence
Let sleeping dogs lie…..but walk around them if they’re in your way. Liam Lawrence has altered the old proverb for the modern footballer. The midfielder missed Stoke’s match with Portsmouth this season after falling over his Labrador. No assault charges were lodged.

6. Perry Groves
While celebrating a goal on the subs bench, where he didn’t spend too much time so you can see how it happened, the Arsenal Legend managed to knock himself out when he head butted the dugout.

7. Sam Torrance
He was infamous for sleepwalking around hotels naked on Tour, but the Scotsman had to pull out of the 1993 Open after bruising his chest sleepwalking into a flowerpot. “I remember waking up and seeing this thing, and I thought someone was in my room. I ran at it and cracked my sternum.”

8. Chris Lewis
In the news this week for trying to smuggle a load of white powder into Britain; he thought it was orange juice - easy mistake to make. Devon Malcolm shaved Lewis’s head on a tour in the West Indies in 1993. Believing his dark pigment would protect him from the sun – Lewis spent the day without a hat. We don’t have to tell you what happened, hopefully.

9. Sammy Sosa.
Sammy, stay away from Mexico. Achoo. The former Baltimore Oriole suffered from sneeze-induced back spasms. It might have just been an excuse for some poor hitting in the 2004 season though. We’re not keen on Baseball.

10. Mistar
It’s not ok to laugh at this one, but we won’t judge you if you do. Looking at Joey Barton the wrong way at training is a potential hazard, but Mistar, an Indonesian footballer, puts things into some sort of perspective. The night before a 1995 domestic cup tie, the training pitch was invaded by wild pigs and Mistar was trampled to death. True story.

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