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Another entry from Transylvania’s intrepid reporter rehashing everything you heard 864 times on Sky Sports News since 8.30am this morning.
Across the pond, the elderly and infirm are treated with respect. Brett Favre has said if he can play with the aid of his Zimmer-frame, he’ll try to throw the ball the best he can for the Minnesota Vikings. Three weeks ago the 39 year old categorically said no to a comeback, but 25 million dollars later, and he’s more than happy to come out of retirement. “I didn’t want to look back and didn’t want to say ‘what if’. I had to be careful not to commit for the wrong reasons.” Enhancing your bank balance is the right reason?
In other NFL news, two coaches from the same team have tried to kick several colours of excrement out of each other at a training session. It makes the Joey Barton/Ousmane Dabo incident look like handbags.
If Arsenal’s players weren’t millionaires already, I’d be telling them to buy a lottery ticket this evening. Two strokes of good fortune means the 2nd leg at the Emirates has become as interesting as Big Brother. Probably a bit like it too. Plenty of big tits on show – Nicklas Bentdner and William Gallas.
Picking fights via Twitter is increasing, but Lance Armstrong has left Alberto Contador alone to make some friends instead. Prior to attending a concert by Irish tax exiles U2 in Hampden Park, the American decided to make friends in Scotland inviting randomers on a bike ride. And I thought he was popular.
He might be as useful as an underwater toaster and makes Michael Owen look like the picture of physical perfection, but Hull’s crocked £5 million midfielder Jimmy Bullard is always up for a laugh. Endless YouTube videos prove he’s a real messr but, as this snippet from Soccer AM shows, he won’t be walking down the runways during Milan fashion week. But not because of his cruciate ligament problem.
Expanding his property portfolio in Australia has been going well, but on the pitch Robbie Fowler isn’t having the best of times for North Queensland Fury. During their five nil defeat to Gold Coast Utd he went all Jackie Chan on Shane Smeltz’s head. I’m impressed. How a man of his ample size can perform acrobatics like that is beyond me.
The world championships in Berlin has been set alight by the quickest man on the planet Usain Bolt. And flooded by Yelena Isinbayeva. Women playing with big poles should be entertaining, it normally is on the internet, but the Russian pole vaulter handled defeat like Roger Federer after the Aussie Open final - Quite badly. Given that she’s a girl and it may have been a bad time in the month, she’s allowed to be emotional. She’s no Allison Stokke either.
Tick tock, tick tock. Transfer deadline clock on SS News is at roughly: 13 days 18 hours 41mins. Matterface: “It’s getting exciting, isn’t it, Georgie?” “Yeah, the countdown is really on now.” It must be painful too get excited about a clock ticking down.
Liverpool are to tempt local boy Steven Taylor from Newcastle. For some reason we can’t see the Magpies parting with him for just £1.5 million. Damien Duff will soon be seen running up his own derrière at Craven Cottage. His move to Fulham has been completed. Not wanting to be made look like paupers by Real Madrid, Chelsea have finally splashed some cash and signed David Villa er… Nemanja Matic. Who? Having been hammered at home by the Gunners, David Moyes is signing Ever Banega on a season long loan from Valencia to strengthen his squad. He’s hasn’t arrived yet as the Toffees are waiting on a work permit, which could be refused as we heard he’s a w@nker.
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