If this carries on we’re going to have to keep him under lock and key and most definitely well away from intoxicating liquor.

Just when we thought we were running a proper grown-up business, Mr Paddy Power himself had one too many at a Cheltenham preview at the Goat Inn last night and promised the crowd we’d refund all losing bets on the Supreme Novices Hurdle if Dunguib won the race.

A quick call around and a few terms and conditions later and we’ve decided it just about makes some sort of sense - we’re going to honour the promise. We did something similar (if less idiotic) last year with Cousin Vinny so it’s not like we’re in totally unexplored territory. However right now Dunguib is 4/6 for this race so by my reckoning you would be absolutely crazy to bet anywhere other than Paddy Power if you’re interested in any other horse in the race.

OK, plenty of opposition has been scared off by Dunguib but Oscar Whisky for one hasn’t been off the bridle either and at 12/1 - and knowing I’ll get my money back if Dunguib wins the race - he certainly sounds like at least one worth serious consideration.

If you’ve got any other possible outsiders for this race or indeed any other Cheltenham tips (paddy power employees  bet as well after all) please share. And while we’re at it feel free to tell us what you think of Paddy’s genius / lunatic idea.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Cheltenham 2010, Horse Racing Tips, Racing | 134 Comments »

At least Kieren Fallon had the smarts to wait till after the race before pulling Stewart Webster off his horse in 1994 – I think I recall one of the tabloids running with the headline “Fallon Pulls Off Webster”. He got a six month ban for that paticular incident (Unfortunately no one has uploaded it to YouTube).
 
Anyway, two jockeys in the US, as you’ll see from the video below, came to blows during a race after some seemingly innocuous in-race bumping at Philadelphia Park on Friday night. I’ve seen worse in a point-to-point race, but it’s funny nonetheless, albeit extremely dangerous. I can’t imagine Ruby giving AP a slap mid-race for a bit of bumping.
 

 
[Shameless Marketing bit] Ehem… this is what you’re missing when not watching US Racing live on At The Races every night with Paddy Power. *read this very fast* Past performance is no guarantee of future results and jockeys punching each other may not happen every night.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Horse Racing Tips, Racing | 1 Comment »

A small snippet from the world of Australian racing.

 
Thanks to Martin Palermo’s last minute goal against Peru on Saturday night, Diego Maradona will have one more throw of the World Cup dice when Argentina take on Uruguay. The Czech Republic are in a equally desperate situation and are relying on San Marino to beat Slovenia to ensure their progress to South Africa. Resorting to new lows, even for a tabloid, Czech newspaper Blesk have offered the San Marino players 1 million Koruna which is about 38,000 Euros if they can win. “We will do the maximum for a win but our biggest problem is that we rarely score a goal,” captain Andy Selva offered.
 
Few things in this life come for free unless you’re John O’Donoghue or Jacqui Smith’s husband, so I’ll forgive Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti for savouring every moment of the lap dance he got on Italian TV show Chiambretti Night. Jose Mourinho and Capello have also been saluted in this way, but unfortunately there are no plans to invite Steve Staunton or Jim Fallon onto the show.
 
Ladies man Sven Goran Eriksson is reportedly interested in North Korean women and, while he’s over there, he might manage their international team. Allegedly Kim Jung Il is financing the deal by selling his porn collection and abandoning their nuclear armaments programme. That’s about as politically active as I get. Notts County deny that he can do the job on a part-time basis while the man who got Sampdoria relegated and brought Nottingham Forest close to financial ruin is allegedly Ian McParland’s successor. It’s not Guy of Gisborne, it’s David Platt.
 
FIFA’s new rules will hopefully help Wales stop being so crap. It still wouldn’t allow Frenchman Tony Cascarino qualify to play for Ireland though.

 
Steve Borthwick can see – metaphorically at the moment – the funny side to Olivier Azam’s attempt to turn him into rugby’s Ray Charles [Watch it!!]. Gloucester had the audacity to appeal the 12 week ban which was turned down yesterday while Jeremy Guscott believed it was accidental. Anyway, it’s all fun and games till someone loses an eye, then it’s still fun and games. “As the doctor shone a pen torch in my eye, he suddenly cried out, “It is broken!” the Saracen’s player said, “I asked if he meant there was something seriously wrong with my eye and he said, “No, the pen torch has run out of batteries”.’
 
David Haye’s preparations for his fight with WBC Heavyweight Champion Dimitry Bumpovski Nikolay Valuev are going well. He’s not spending much time in the gym apart from knocking the head off a cardboard cut out of his opponent.
 
Ding, ding – round 2. Padraig Harrington and Thomas Bjorn’s public spat over whether senior Tour members should be obliged to play a minimum amount of events has reared its head at the Portugal Masters. Euro Tour CEO George O’Grady, possibly upset at Barack Obama’s unmerited Nobel Prize win, will attempt to broker a peace deal between the stubborn golfers.
 
The line judge who Serena Williams told to ‘shove a ball down her throat’ is mysteriously missing in action. Colleagues think the potential of a repeat performance at the WTA Tour Championships led to her absence. Who isn’t scared him? I mean her.
 
Despite attacking a camera and a tree at last year’s Australian Open, John Daly is going back for a second bite at the cherry down under.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Football, Golf, Have I Goth News For You!, Horse Racing Tips, Rugby, Sportsbook | 3 Comments »

Australian Application Shows Up Profligate Pietersen

It represented around three seconds of a match that lasted just shy of five days. It was just one of well over two thousands balls bowled. It was one wicket of twenty-five in the match, but the first Test of the 2009 Ashes series will be remembered for the ridiculous arrogance of Kevin Pietersen. If England’s first innings of 435 had proved to be the competitive total it was over-optimistically labelled and not the missed opportunity that in reality it was, then his moment of idiocy could be quietly swept down to fine leg, but the fact that Australia’s batsmen went on to operate with such ruthless efficiency exposed the flaw in England’s star and in turn the flaw in relying on a brilliant, but self indulgent narcissist.

In a team sport, it’s unfair to hang the millstone of blame around one player’s neck, but in this case it so evidently damaged the team’s cause, it feels appropriate. After getting himself in and accruing a decent score, Pietersen abdicated responsibility, then casually dismissed it as his natural game and not something he plans to alter any time soon. His attempt to sweep a ball that looked set to be called wide on the off side required Inspector Gadget-esque limbs and seemed about as destined for success as a case being probed by the aforementioned inspector – without the help of Penny and the Brain if you’re into your 1980s cartoons. In contrast, the Australians took the inch given to them by the English bowlers and turned it into miles of ball chasing for the Pom fielders. No batsman in the world may be able to match Pietersen in terms of ball striking and flair, but it’s in the areas of application and duty to the team the unheralded Marcus North and Brad Haddin excelled. England’s cynical delay tactics towards the end were disappointing, but you get the feeling the Aussies wouldn’t be immune to it if the shoe was on the other foot.

So to the second Test and what England need to do. There is a school of thought that says England can’t bowl as meekly as they did for the vast majority of the Australian innings. Save for a fiery spell from Andrew Flintoff, they rarely posed a threat. Stuart Broad, Jimmy Anderson and Graeme Swann have proven they are better than that, but they need a few more tricks up their sleeves when the ball isn’t swinging and the pitch resembles newly laid motorway. Or at least to stop making excuses. That school of thought could be wrong, as now that the Aussies have sunk their teeth into them once, they’ll have nothing to fear for the remainder of the series. Steve Harmison did well for the England A team against the Aussies before the 1st Test and his form for Durham merits a call up to the squad at the very least. Graeme Onions should also take his phone off silent in the next couple of days.

If there was the talent available, Pietersen should be dropped to give him time to contemplate the notion of responsibility at county level. That will never happen as he still remains England’s man hope of winning the series, but there should be steps made to accommodate the prodigious Irishman, Eoin Morgan. The dubious documentation of grannies allowed Ireland to profit by signing up footballers that were about as Irish a natural tan and now it’s time to return the favour. Morgan made his name with flamboyant strokes in the shorter form of the game, but his game can be adapted for the more considered approach required for Test matches. A combined haul of sixteen runs suggests Alistair Cook could make way, but that would involve a rearrangement of the batting line-up that exceeds England conservatism.

As dismal as much of England’s performance in the first Test was, they can take steps to be more competitive. It doesn’t take a cartoon crime-fighter to figure that out.

Ashes 2nd Test Betting

Posted in Being An Idiot, Cricket | 1 Comment »

Paddy was interviewed by ESN earlier:

If the IRB decide the game IS to be replayed, for the first time ever we’re going to be asking for your winnings back, here’s Paddy with a quick guide:

Posted in Being An Idiot, Rugby, Sportsbook | 11 Comments »

We used all our ‘witty’ observations for our Ryder Cup Drinking Game, so in the absence of a humourous fanfare, let’s get straight to the point. It’s the Ryder Cup Drinking Game – download it, print it off and keep it close at hand for the three days of what can only be described as transatlantic golf.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Drinking Game, Golf, Ryder Cup 2008, Sportsbook | 2 Comments »

Thanks for all the entries to the competition. They were excellent, some more libelous than others. The winner of a Free £50 Bet is freakodude who engaged in an ever popular bit of Poulter-bashing:

In times of crisis, it’s sensible to get experts in. Therefore, I think in this case, a flooding expert, and an expert in animal welfare are required.

The flooding expert is an easy choice, it goes to Paula Radcliffe, as all she ever does now is weep and wee.

The animal welfare expert was a more difficult choice, until I recalled that one of the easiest methods of detecting if an animal is poorly, was to examine its faeces. So, for convincingly proving that he knows all there is to know about the shit of both bulls and horses, Paula’s partner onboard the Ark goes to Ian Poulter.

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As the summer rolls mercilessly into winter, it’s hard to distinguish which is which. These days you’d think that Evan Almighty is a documentary rather than the comedic blemish on Steve Carrell’s CV that it is.

We’re not saying Friday was a slow day in Paddy Power Plaza, but watching the rain pour down relentlessly sparked off a debate of biblical proportions.

If Noah was building an Ark today, which sporting couples would you put on it?

To ensure the survival of your perferred sport, team or nation, you’ve got the chance to put two people on the Ark. Give us your reason why. The funniest/most offensive/least libellous suggestion will win a €50 Free Bet.

I’m barred from entering, but may I put forward Roy Keane and Sonia O’Sullivan. Hopefully the boredom will force them into a bit of pro-creation and hey presto - nine months later we have a kid who’ll be a great footballer, an excellent runner or a shoe-in for the gold medal if they ever introduce “being from Cork” as an event in the Olympics.

Put your suggestions below.

Competition closes at midnight on Monday. Judges’ decision is final.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Sportsbook | 32 Comments »

For those of us who played football and wondered aloud on many an occassion just what the hell the referee was on, this one’s a cracker. After being found to have been drunk whilst in charge of a league game and subsequently suspended by the Belarusian FA following this display, Sergei Shmolik (Belarus’ ref of the year) claimed he was stone cold sober and was in fact suffering from a bad back. As excuses go that’s a pretty poor one but it’s pretty darn funny all the same. Well enjoy, I’m off down the pub to put my back out.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Football, Sportsbook | 1 Comment »

Ahh yes…the immortal words!

Meet Phil Devlin – Paddy Power’s resident nay sayer! Do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that! Yes that’s right, he’s the man who tells us kids where we can or can’t park, he’s the man who issues parking permits (rather unfairly I must say! :P) and he’s the man who generally makes sure everything in Paddy Power towers is ticking over nicely from a ‘Property’ point of view.

And if we don’t park where Mr Devlin says, it usually results in a hefty fine from those pesky clampers who patrol our building like worker bees around a hive!

There’re no second chances or sweet talking once the clamps have come down. It’s a straight sweet 80 yoyos to cut loose!! That’s €80 for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term ‘yoyo’! Recession? What recession?!

So loaded with this information, you’ll forgive us for having a little snigger at PHIL’S expense! You live by the sword you die by the sword eh Phil?!

Or you could say all’s ‘Phil’ in love and war! Oh I kill me, I kill me!

Posted in Being An Idiot, Novelty, Sportsbook | 3 Comments »

It’s tough being a golfer, especially if your coach, sponsors and wife have all dumped you. Although attention for most golf fans will be squarely focused on the prestigious Players Championship at Sawgrass, there’s some serious value to be had at the Italian Open. Below is a video of John Daly’s preparation for the event in Rome. It’s not surprising Butch Harmon has refused to coach him and claimed “The most important thing in his life is getting drunk.” No shoes, no shirt, just blue denim jeans and a cigarette in mouth at every hole; it’s clear Daly is in top form, well nearly, he wasn’t drunk, I think. He might be ranked 539th in the world, but as he says himself, “Don’t underestimate the Fat man.” A Fat price of 125/1 too.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Golf, Sportsbook | 12 Comments »