This week Tom sings us the reasons why nobody will be beating the Italians (Engerland and Ireland’s coaches) or the Irish:

or for the very lazy, watch the 12 second version:

Tom’s Tip for Ireland v Italy on 12seconds.tv

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…and so it nearly is not just for the magnificent Euro 2008 but also for BBC’s voice of football John Motson.

Its perhaps apt to recall Kenneth Wolstenholme’s immortal line of commentary with this being the last time we can take a punt on the first Commentary Cliche Motty uses in a major final.

Whilst having slipped from his lofty standards in the last couple of years Motty remains a legend, having commentated on just about all the big games in my lifetime. He’s been easy to criticise in the last couple of years but I dare say he’ll be missed and looked upon more fondly when he’s gone. Especially with the thought the majority of live football on terrestrial TV next year will be shown on ITV… a scary thought already.

So what famous lines is Motty going to leave us with?

The favourite at 7/1 is 1964, the last time Spain didn’t choke, whilst 1996 - Germany’s last Euro triumph - is 11/1.

But I’d love to see “the voice” go out with a true Mottyism and “There’s danger here” and “These are nervous moments” are 12/1 and 14/1 respectively. But maybe not as much as I’d enjoy Motty uttering “Frings ain’t what they used to be” at 50/1.

There is a bit of previous here with Motty catching us out before. Will he go out with a betting bang on his commentary tonight?

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It’s been a long three weeks for those of us not actually supporting a team at Euro 2008, but finally we’ve reached the end and accordingly this is our last Euro 2008 drinking game. To mark the occasion here’s a pointless poem:

We’ve had a few laughs,
we’ve shed a few tears,
but most importantly,
we drank lots of beers.

Watch the climax of Euro 2008 as Germany put in a typically efficient performance to beat Spain on penalties in the company of our Drinking Game. See you same time, same place in four years time with a six pack in our hands.

Germany v Spain Drinking Game

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Who would have thought that the perennial underachievers of Spain would be taking on the dark horses of Russia for a place in the final of Euro 2008? Then again who would have thought that people didn’t like living under Franco’s dictatorship and communism doesn’t really work?
Life is full of surprises.

Why not watch Andrei Arshavin run rings around a bewildered Sergio Ramos in the company of our Drinking Game?

Spain v Russia Drinking Game

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The French have gone back to their maisons, the Italians have gone back to their case, the Dutch are probably doing something very liberal in their huizen and the Swedes have gone back to their … er … igloos? But, being reliable as always the Germans are still in it, along with Turkey.

Why not watch Turkey spend 89 minutes of the semi-final losing to a Miroslav Klose goal only to score twice in the last 4 seconds in the company of our ‘making things more interesting for the neutrals drinking game’?

Get Your Germany v Turkey Drinking Game Now!

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The quarter-finals come to a close with a mouth-watering clash between the perennial under-achievers of Spain and the perennial slow-starters-but-somehow-manage-to-turn-it-arounders. Why not enjoy Spain’s long since predicted choke in the company of our technical mumbo-jumbo enforced simplified drinking game.

Spain v Italy Drinking Game - 7.45pm Live on BBC1 & RTE2

General Forfeits
- one finger every time the word ‘perennial’ is used.
- two fingers every time the commentators mentions that a player may, but we know probably won’t because clearly David Villa is going to Barca, make a move to the Premier League.
- four fingers if the commentator points out the terrifying reality that after this week, we’ve got a full month of no football until the Premier League starts.
- eight fingers if you hear some sobbing.

Italy
- one finger every time Gianluigi Buffon is referred to as the ‘best goalkeeper in the world’ despite the fact that barely anyone has seen him play since the World Cup because Juventus haven’t been in the Champions League and Serie A is too boring for anyone to actually broadcast over here.
- two fingers every time Buffon is spotted wearing that neckerchief thing making him look a bit like a hobo.
- six fingers if he’s spotted with a sign that says ‘will save penalties for food’.

Spain
- two fingers if the amount of tattoos that Sergio Ramos has is brought up to skilfully segue into talking about David Beckham.
- four fingers if Carlos Puyol hairstyle is likened that of Sideshow Bob.
- eight fingers if Puyol tries to kill Bart Simpson.

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Due to some technical mumbo jumbo that we’re not paid enough to understand, our world famous Euro 2008 Drinking Game has gone a bit retro today. We could pretend it was done on purpose in honour of a good Dutch team that look like they could actually win a trophy, which is about as retro as retro can get … er … but we didn’t think of … er.

So purely in honour of a good Dutch team that look like they could actually win a trophy, which is about as retro as retro can get and not at all due to a technical problem, here’s today’s drinking game.

Holland v Russia - Sat. 7.45pm ITV1/RTE2
General Forfeits

- two fingers if the commentators mentions something about it being a really good tournament so far.
- a bottle of champagne and a spoonful of suger if they use the phrase ‘the bestest, most fantabulous supercallifragilisticexpialidocious tournament EVER’

Holland

- two fingers every time the phrase Dutch Masters is used during the match.
- two fingers every time the phrase Dutch Courage is used during the match.
- ten fingers if the phrase Dutch Oven is used at any stage during the match.

Russia

- two fingers if the commentator mentions that Guus Hiddink should know a lot about the Dutch players in a way that suggests he’s a bit of a peeping Tom. (He’s not though)
- a bottle of vodka if any commentator tries to discuss Tolstoy’s philosophical views and how he expressed them through his characters in War and Peace.

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The tournament goes from strength to strength, just like our awesome drinking game. No much more to say really. Enjoy the battle of the dark horses tonight.

Croatia v Turkey

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Another day, another great game. Portugal and Germany should put on a good showing too. Getting a mention in a free morning paper has seen our heads swell bigger than Rafael Nadal’s giant left arm so we may soon feel we’re too big for this kind of gig. Enjoy it while you can, it’s the ever more famouser Paddy Power Drinking Game.

Portugal v Germany

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Send in the bulldozers, the rebuilding process can begin. Whilst France began the process of putting together a team capable of challenging for the World Cup in 2010, or even qualifying for the World Cup in 2010, Raymond Domenech should be free to get married in a forest, surrounded by druids, nudists or whatever strange people fit into his bizarre pick n’ mix of spiritual beliefs.

Almost universally disliked by the French even though he guided the side to a World Cup final, Domenech will now be shown la sortie and the curtain can come down on an era where the national side was hindered by strange selections and the coach’s own personal grudges. Even his post match interview following defeat to Italy showcased his peculiar mindset, talking about marrying his reporter fiancée rather than addressing the issues surrounding a hugely disappointing campaign.

A lack of ambition and touch of arrogance against Romania, bad luck and some wasteful attackers against Holland and a clumsy tackle when letting Luca Toni get his shot away was probably the most sensible idea, have combined to eliminate France and very few people can argue that it wasn’t fair. Domenech’s odd choices came to the fore yet again and his side are out. Just why Sidney Govou got 141 minutes at Euro 2008 compared to Samir Nasri’s 28 minutes, I’ll never understand. Of course I’m speaking through my pocket, but France were woeful and Domenech along with the more experienced players were to blame.

Following Zidane’s retirement, a number of senior players copied his example and left the national fold. Domenech persuaded Thuram and Makelele to come back and in the end, they ensured qualification for Euro 2008, which shows that there was some merit to the move. They have now officially called time on their international careers and in the interests of rebuilding, others need to do the same. Thierry Henry wants to be revered as a Zidane, but lacks the hard-working nature and leadership qualities. Playing for the national team doesn’t come with huge money, so maybe we should have predicted Anelka’s sulky and disinterested performances. He should never play for Les Bleus again, barring a miraculous turnaround in attitude. Sagnol was disappointing when he played and Vieira looks too injury prone to be the leader he once was.

Despite being the big nation to fall victim of the Euro 2008’s Grim Reaper, things aren’t at crisis point for the French. Benzema looked to have a touch of class about him and he will prosper as the focus of the attack. Ribery was exciting as always and Toulalan performed the Makelele role better than Makelele alongside him. With young talents like Diarra, Clerc and the highly rated goalkeeper, Steve Mandanda also available, the French have the nucleus of an exciting young side.

The quest to find Domenech’s replacement is an intriguing one. With the young talent coming into the French squad, the guiding hand of Arsene Wenger would be perfect. He has indicated that the French job is something he would be interested in when the time is right and after being so obviously infuriated with the Premier League in the latter stages of the season, maybe the stars are in position for a move. Although he lacks the CV of Wenger, Didier Deschamps could follow the recent trend of heroic former players taking over the national sides as young coaches. Either way, the situation is far from dire.

As for who’ll win Euro 2008, it’s important not to get carried away with performances in the group stages. Remember that at the last World Cup Argentina would have been everyone’s pick for the trophy after the group stage. As exhilarating as the Dutch were, you have to wonder have they peaked too soon? Can they maintain the standards right the way to the final? Likewise Spain look very sharp, but can their defence hold firm for the three knockout games needed to claim the trophy? Italy certainly haven’t peaked, but the loss of Pirlo and Gattuso for the match with Spain is huge and may be too much to overcome.

Despite not being overly impressive during the group stages, the Germans have reached their specialty, knockout tournament football. They have huge room for improvement and they are the masters of doing just enough to get through. As good as they have been Portugal haven’t played to their highest capacity and they can get better. The Ronaldo v Lahm contest looks like being key to the outcome of the match and I suspect the winner of this match will win the tournament.

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Shortcuts to team bets:
- Holland Betting
- Spain Betting
- Portugal Betting
- Italy Betting
- Germany Betting
- Croatia Betting
- Turkey Betting
- Sweden Betting
- Russia Betting

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