Get up close and, at times, uncomfortably personal with the defending Six Nations champions.

We’re giving you the unique opportunity to work alongside Ireland’s legendary bagman Rala for the Ireland v Wales game. Yes we’ll put you up in a hotel for the night and give you a few shillings for pints after the game but let’s be honest, who really cares about the extras?

If you’re any kind of rugby fan, how could you not want to get such an exclusive insight into what goes on behind the scenes on match day? You’ll not just get to meet the players but you’ll actually play a small part in helping them in their efforts against the Welsh. If you’re not a rugby fan but you fancy spending the day with 22 burly men, handling their sweaty jock-straps and going drinking with them after the game, this is still the competition for you.

Click here to go to our Bagman Competition page, answer a question so easy you should be a little offended we bothered asking you in the first place, and you’ll be in with a chance of winning this one-off prize.

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A small snippet from the world of Australian racing.

 
Thanks to Martin Palermo’s last minute goal against Peru on Saturday night, Diego Maradona will have one more throw of the World Cup dice when Argentina take on Uruguay. The Czech Republic are in a equally desperate situation and are relying on San Marino to beat Slovenia to ensure their progress to South Africa. Resorting to new lows, even for a tabloid, Czech newspaper Blesk have offered the San Marino players 1 million Koruna which is about 38,000 Euros if they can win. “We will do the maximum for a win but our biggest problem is that we rarely score a goal,” captain Andy Selva offered.
 
Few things in this life come for free unless you’re John O’Donoghue or Jacqui Smith’s husband, so I’ll forgive Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti for savouring every moment of the lap dance he got on Italian TV show Chiambretti Night. Jose Mourinho and Capello have also been saluted in this way, but unfortunately there are no plans to invite Steve Staunton or Jim Fallon onto the show.
 
Ladies man Sven Goran Eriksson is reportedly interested in North Korean women and, while he’s over there, he might manage their international team. Allegedly Kim Jung Il is financing the deal by selling his porn collection and abandoning their nuclear armaments programme. That’s about as politically active as I get. Notts County deny that he can do the job on a part-time basis while the man who got Sampdoria relegated and brought Nottingham Forest close to financial ruin is allegedly Ian McParland’s successor. It’s not Guy of Gisborne, it’s David Platt.
 
FIFA’s new rules will hopefully help Wales stop being so crap. It still wouldn’t allow Frenchman Tony Cascarino qualify to play for Ireland though.

 
Steve Borthwick can see – metaphorically at the moment – the funny side to Olivier Azam’s attempt to turn him into rugby’s Ray Charles [Watch it!!]. Gloucester had the audacity to appeal the 12 week ban which was turned down yesterday while Jeremy Guscott believed it was accidental. Anyway, it’s all fun and games till someone loses an eye, then it’s still fun and games. “As the doctor shone a pen torch in my eye, he suddenly cried out, “It is broken!” the Saracen’s player said, “I asked if he meant there was something seriously wrong with my eye and he said, “No, the pen torch has run out of batteries”.’
 
David Haye’s preparations for his fight with WBC Heavyweight Champion Dimitry Bumpovski Nikolay Valuev are going well. He’s not spending much time in the gym apart from knocking the head off a cardboard cut out of his opponent.
 
Ding, ding – round 2. Padraig Harrington and Thomas Bjorn’s public spat over whether senior Tour members should be obliged to play a minimum amount of events has reared its head at the Portugal Masters. Euro Tour CEO George O’Grady, possibly upset at Barack Obama’s unmerited Nobel Prize win, will attempt to broker a peace deal between the stubborn golfers.
 
The line judge who Serena Williams told to ‘shove a ball down her throat’ is mysteriously missing in action. Colleagues think the potential of a repeat performance at the WTA Tour Championships led to her absence. Who isn’t scared him? I mean her.
 
Despite attacking a camera and a tree at last year’s Australian Open, John Daly is going back for a second bite at the cherry down under.

Posted in Being An Idiot, Football, Golf, Have I Goth News For You!, Horse Racing Tips, Rugby, Sportsbook | 3 Comments »

Today’s news is just nuts
- Man, I Feel Like A Gold Medal
- Dude, Where’s My Lescott?
- You’ve Got Male (that one doesn’t really make sense)

Quite A Balls Up
There were joyous scenes at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin last night. After crossing the line first in the 800m final, Caster Semenya raised her suspiciously hairy arms triumphantly aloft in the night sky. Overwhelmed by emotion she let out a basso bellow of delight. Then she scratched her balls, said sorry for not even lasting two minutes and then feel into a deep sleep when all the other women wanted to do was a bit of cuddling.

That is the somewhat dramatised version of events that have lead to the South African being ordered to undergo a gender test. “The gender verification test is an extremely complex procedure,” said someone from The International Organisation Of Unnecessarily Short Shorts And Nipple Chaffing. Extremely complex? What? Finding out is this woman is in fact a man should take about 2 seconds – one if she’s got a semi at the time. Apparently, this gender test will take a few weeks to conclude, but if anyone from the IOOUSSANC is reading, you can have my patented Sack-detector kit for free:

If he/she answers ‘no’ to at least one of the questions, then it’s almost certainly a dude.

The Football Bit
After yesterday’s completely unfounded speculation, Liverpool’s managing director says that Rafa will be fielding not quite his strongest XI and then wondering why they’re dropping points at the likes of Spurs for some time to come. Stoke’s remarkable ability to make Glen Johnson look like Pele has lifted the pressure on Benitez that I’m not convinced ever existed. A bit like global warming. Just because I’m on the topic of Liverpool, Rafa has flexed some financial muscle by signing … em … Greek centre-back Sotiris Kyrgiakos for £2 million from AEK Athens.

Showing the aptitude that has won him pretty much every league title for the last twenty odd years, Alex Ferguson thinks scoring that penalty against Burnley would have definitely helped Man Utd’s chances of winning. Meanwhile Spurs looked pretty impressive in hammering already relegated Hull (I’m speaking mentally rather than mathematically – for the moment). Pretty impressive that is until you see replays of the goals and notice Boaz Myhill’s uncanny ability to miss shots that are pretty much straight at him. Elsewhere some other team beat some other team and has anyone had enough of the football season already?

All Joleon Lescott’s door slamming and playing his Jonas Brothers’ records too loudly has finally gone too far for David Moyes. The Toffees manager has grounded Lescott until Mark Hughes calls around with a bag filled with thirty million pounds worth of non-sequential notes or injury prone strikers to the same value. One person’s view of the whole story.

A Blinkered Round Up Of Everything Else
Harlequins vow that they will never ever be caught cheating again after taking a “huge reputational hit” - which is corporate makey-uppy-speak for “everyone thinks we’re cheating basterds” – hey, if it’s good enough for Tarantino. Plans to enforce include warning joke shops not to sell blood capsules to any of their players or staff. Stink bombs and whoppie cushions are fine.

In their regular bout of getting a bit bored with tennis, the Williams sisters are reportedly interested in buying a stake of the Miami Dolphins. That’s a trifle unnecessary – if they wanted to play that badly, then surely their physiques would merit a place in the offensive line. Apparently they float some people’s boats, although personally I’d like to reveal that they were the inspiration behind my patented Sack-detector kit above.

In other hut-hut-hut news, the Philadelphia Eagles’ signing of the dog fighting host with the most, Michael Vick doesn’t mean that companies are any less likely to pump millions of dollars into the organisation. It’s a victory for honest to goodness money over pesky little morals. I wonder what Vick would opt for here?

Whilst the rest of the cricket world focuses on the Oval, I’m bringing you the stories that matter. Kabir Khan, coach of the Afghanistan cricket team has said his team’s performance in Zimbabwe is one in the eye for all those haters out there, but he did it in a less gangster rap way. They earned a draw against their hosts, no doubt helped by some excellent Talibatting.

Posted in Cricket, Football, Have I Goth News For You!, Justice Payouts, Novelty, Rugby, Sportsbook, Tennis, US Sports, Videos | 5 Comments »

 
Today’s reasons to keep reading:
 - Alberto Contador lifts the veil on his not particularly veiled contempt for Lance
 - Liverpool won’t be taken back to the shop. Yet.
 - Rugby’s coming home, it’s coming home, coming home drunk and stinking of Deep Heat.
 

(more…)

Posted in Cricket, Football, Have I Goth News For You!, Motor Racing, Rugby | Click here to comment »

This week, Hector leaves SA for a few hours to fly over the Miami to hang with Eddie O’Sullivan and talk about the best bets for the second test against SA:

With thanks to chasethelions.com.

Posted in Rugby | 1 Comment »

Paddy teamed up with Leinster Captain Leo Cullen and Munster legend Mick Galway today to launch our fundraising initiative for the Stewart Mangan appeal. Paddy’s agreed to donate €2,000 for each try scored in Saturday’s Heineken Cup Semi Final between Leinster and Munster at Croke Park.

In April last year while playing rugby with his club Hammersmith RFC in London, Stuart Mangan (25) suffered a sudden but devastating spinal injury. Sadly this sporting accident left Stuart totally paralyzed from the neck down. Now that Stuart has left hospital he will require 24-hour care for the rest of his life.

If you’d like to learn more about this cause or make a donation, go to www.stuartmangan.org

Posted in Rugby, Sportsbook | 2 Comments »

It was a series of entirely predictable shocks. The certainties that have been touted for years, months and weeks prior to the announcement are sprinkled with a few choices that although not entirely out of left-field, are from left of centre.

Captaincy
Brian O’Driscoll can probably feel a little aggrieved not to get the chance to atone for the disappointment of New Zealand as captain and his main fault seems to be being a captain of the more eloquent and tranquil type rather than a simmering volcano of physicality that Ian McGeechan clearly desires. O’Driscoll doesn’t assume the disposition of a firebrand leader, but players under his captaincy are made to understand the importance the jersey they are wearing, be it blue, green or red in a placid but inspiring manner. Having Paul O’Connell lead the team is hardly likely to weaken it and it’s possibly best to be grateful for the fact that there are two leaders of such a high calibre available ahead of such a daunting tour.

Backs
Amongst the backs Byrne, Kearney, Williams, Fitzgerald, Bowe, Shanklin, O’Gara, Jones, Phillips, O’Leary and of course O’Driscoll all looked to have their names on tickets for some time so we move quickly on to the debatable selections. Leigh Halfpenny wasn’t entirely expected to travel but has been impressive in breaking into the Wales team along with in Cardiff Blues’ remarkable run in the Heineken Cup. He’s young, but what he lacks in experience at international level he makes up for in his capacity to do something spectacular. Ugo Monye also lacks the international experience, but his pace could come in very useful should the Lions’ wings struggle to cope with Bryan Habana and he’s probably worth bringing on tour.

It’s not often that an ideological debate surrounds the Lions, but Riki Flutey’s potential inclusion has sparked debates about what exactly a Lion is. He has already faced the Lions as a New Zealand Maori, but leaving aside the debate on nationality, should he be in the squad? I’m not convinced he’s a top class player, but he might just merit his place in the 37. James Hook may lack the out and out pace of Flutey, but given his all round game and versatility, I’d prefer to have him as a tourist and he can count himself unlucky not to travel.

The disappointment of not seeing Gordon D’Arcy in the squad is somewhat tempered by a dose of realism and the inclusion of Keith Earls. D’Arcy has battled back determinedly from injury, but his best work since the injury has come in the Magners League and although he has played at international level, he looked much less of a threat when at the higher standard. Somewhat conversely, Earls hasn’t had as much international game time, but his performances always give the impression of a really electric player who can do something brilliant in an instant.

When the name of Harry Ellis was called out was I the only person to think ‘wrong answer’? Obviously a Lions call up is based on judgement and it can’t be de facto incorrect, but I can’t help feeling that his inclusion is just wrong. Mike Blair is a far better player and whilst not at the peak of their powers this season, Dwayne Peel and Peter Stringer have aspects to their game that make them useful players to have on the bench if called upon.

Forwards
With twenty players vying for eight starting berths, the debate regarding the Lions pack has only just begun. The eyebrows did make an upward surge when Andy Powell got announced – with a couple of stirring carries masking a lack of a consistent contribution over 80 minutes, there’s a touch of the Chabals about him, but maybe his selection with a view to a role as impact sub is justified.

Phil Vickery hasn’t been at his best for a couple of years now, but there is no doubting that he is an excellent scrummager down through the years and that’s something that will be vital in matches that will feature referees adopting a Southern Hemisphere view of the rules. That’s probably why Ireland’s Grand Slam winning props have missed out. Although their contribution all over the pitch is generally excellent, Messers Horan and Hayes can occasionally look vulnerable at scrum time.

It’s not inconceivable that an all-Irish back row will line out for the 1st Test and it’s great to see that Stephen Ferris’ emergence has resulted in a call-up. Given that England’s lineout looked like it could be got at during the 6 Nations and strength of South Africa in this area, it’s a bit of a surprise to see Simon Shaw in there, but it looks like that he will be well down the pecking order for the Tests. Alan Quinlan’s selection was the biggest surprise of the lot, but considering his performances for Munster and his flexibility around the pack, having him in the squad isn’t entirely unmerited, but must be difficult to take for Ryan Jones who isn’t far behind him in the versatility stakes and is perhaps being unfairly scapegoated for the slight dip in Wales’ form.

My [admittedly biased ]starting XV for the 1st Test:
15. Byrne
14. Williams
13. O’Driscoll
12. Roberts
11. Bowe
10. Jones
9. Phillips
8. Heaslip
7. Wallace
6. Ferris
5. AW Jones
4. O’Connell
3. Murray
2. Flannery
1. Jenkins

Posted in Rugby, Sportsbook | 2 Comments »

Paddy was interviewed by ESN earlier:

If the IRB decide the game IS to be replayed, for the first time ever we’re going to be asking for your winnings back, here’s Paddy with a quick guide:

Posted in Being An Idiot, Rugby, Sportsbook | 11 Comments »

Have I gone mad? I know I had a lie-in on Friday, but the world I woke up to was decidedly less optimistic about Ireland’s chances of beating England than the one I remember from the previous night. There is genuine talk of England beating Ireland at Croke Park this evening. I may look foolish at about 7.30 tonight - then again I may look very foolish regardless of any predictions I make – but I can’t see this England team getting the better of Ireland, no matter how the game pans out.

‘Experts’ say that England will try to slow the game down and make it as physical an encounter as possible, but Ireland are well equipped to deal with that. They handled it against Italy in Rome and considering it was the same Italy team that – barring the howler of a game that Bergamasco had at scrum-half – achieved at the very least parity with England at Twickenham, Ireland have nothing to fear. The way I see it, England played almost to their optimum considering the talent available to them against Wales. I doubt they will perform to the same level again. Conversely, I think Ireland have room to improve and I think they will improve tonight.

These same experts point to James Haskell and Toby Flood as some sort of McCaw/Carter combination that can dictate a game between the two of them, but the last time I checked they were good and not spectacular players. Flood at times looks like he couldn’t tackle a decent dinner and in general, the English team is littered with good club players, but players that have yet to prove themselves as internationals. It’s not their fault, but the standard of the English game needs to be re-evaluated.

The Guinness Premiership is the third best league in Europe. The standard of teams from top to bottom is arguably stronger than the Top 14 or the Magners League, but it lacks top quality players and teams. There are a couple of good teams in England and a lot of reasonable ones whereas in the Magners League there are a few very good teams, some good teams and admittedly a few poor teams – the same can be said for France. The strength of the league is reflected in the national side and although there were complaints about the salary cap in view of the exodus to France, playing at a higher level where the object of the game isn’t to strangle the life out of the opposition will ultimately improve England.

I’m liable to look like an idiot this evening, but I think this Ireland team will win and win well.

Posted in Rugby, Sportsbook | 2 Comments »

Apologies for the delay in posting the results but it seems some people aren’t too keen on answering their phones and we can’t announce a winner until we confirm acceptance of the prize. Let that be a lesson to those of you who don’t make the most of the mobility of your mobile phones.

Anyway, thanks for the phenomenal number of entries for our fill in the Missing Words Headline Competition for tickets to the Ireland v England match – some made us laugh, some made us cry and a good few made us realise that a decent proportion of Paddy Power customers watched far too many Carry On movies when they were younger. There were so many attempts that we could probably release a book of them – although it would be a book mainly full of nob gags and would have very little appeal in the mainstream.

The winner of the overall prize that you can read more about in this blog because I’m not going over it again is:

[add in your own drum roll here]

Keith Byrne who came up with the following:

That wasn’t actually the headline, but it was much funnier than the original. Congratulations Keith.

Occupying that peculiar space where they were deemed funnier than about 750 other entries but not as funny as the winner, are the following runners up - they get a £/€20 Free Bet.
In no particular order:

- platini Says:
Umaga herpes

- Chrisrichards5 Says:
Viagra World Cup sponsorship. Semi guaranteed

- Corkcat Says:
…not having to come up with a stupid slogan to get into Croke Park on Saturday.

- fergal p Says:
his Lilly’s Bordello loyalty card

- Joe Says:
winning entry of Paddy Power ‘O’Driscoll pleased with’competition.

Posted in Competitions, Rugby, Sportsbook | 4 Comments »