Diary of a Beard, by @pgal10

This is one week in the life of one man’s beard and it’s battle to survive in the world against all odds.

Wednesday April 3. The bathroom.

He’s acting really weird. Weirder than normal, that is. Normally he’s just walking around stroking me or sucking on me, thinking about his next move. But not lately. Lately he’s been looking in the mirror. A lot. Lately he’s been staring at me blankly like he’s trying to imagine what he’d look like without me.

@pgal10 Fear the beard!! http://t.co/XWHC2ZHB7C—
Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 28, 2013

I heard him on about that tweet Paddy Power sent him too. I thought last week was the longest week of my life. Seriously, everyone was talking about how long I was for the Cork game last week and now I’m genuinely worried as to what he might do to me this week.

The guy is impulsive enough at the best of times. But now, Paddy Power was offering short odds, long odds and in be-f**king-tween odds for him to shave me off.

Basically Paddy was putting a price on my head by putting a price on Paul’s head. He’s offering people money for him to make short work of me for the Tyrone game. Nice. Real nice. And I heard that ride Louise on the phone jabbering on the other day – she’s in the right job that one. Radio?? She’s a walking, talking radio, has a mouth like the River Shannon.

God knows I see enough of it – telling him “to imagine all the nice things we could do with all that money just for shaving!!!” And I wouldn’t mind but he never would have pulled her without me.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the bonehead wasn’t actually considering it. Seriously have you seen what he looks like without me? Google Image him circa 04. He looks like a tadpole without my sex appeal.

A broad like Louise would laugh at him if he tried pulling her without me. And what Paddy Power doesn’t realise is Paul is red useless without me. I am his power not Paddy. “Fear The Beard?” Fear beard loss, more like it. Samson and Delilah was no children’s fairytale. It was real-life loss and this is real-life shit. Hair loss is not to be trifled with and those two would do well to remember that.

Shaving me off might be a bit of fun for the punters and a few quid for some ne’er do well with an on-line account and too much time on his hands. Shave me off away and bank your money just don’t bank on me coming back. Then see where you get. He’ll be online dating by Christmas, I promise. Still it wouldn’t be all bad. In fact he’d be doing me a favour. I wouldn’t have to deal with getting smeared in Louise’s Juicy Tubes. And I’m so sick of him sucking on me when he’s in one of his deep, thoughtful moods. This is a nice way to be treated. Eight years I’ve spent transforming the minger into a sex-god. That is the power I hold. Gratitude? That’s something you pay in a restaurant right? He literally doesn’t know the meaning of the word.

Anyway it’s his loss. I already know how this story will end. Like Samson’s. Badly. He ll have no beard, no bird and Division 2 football to look forward to next year. And I’m not hanging around for that shit. He can have it.

Thursday April 4. The bedroom.

“I’m gonna cut your beard off.” That’s what she just said. She actually said those exact words. What the f**k like?? Does she think I can’t hear her??!!…. Paul’s ears are right there beside me like, I’m not deaf. If she wasn’t so ridey I’d hate her. We’re lying in bed talking, the three of us (I’d be all over her like beard rash if I got half a chance but it’s tricky, for obvious reasons.) Anyway we’re just lying there, Louise is stroking me gently when all of a sudden she just starts hacking away at me with a scissors. I’m there like “AAAAAAAAARGH” screaming at her to stop. I’m like “PAUL, YOU PRICK, DO SOMETHING SHE’S ATTACKING ME WITH A SCISSORS!!!” He just lies there and lets her do it. He’s laughing. He’s actually laughing. Prick. I’m basically sweating, being sheared into tiny pieces thinking the end has come, he’s fallen for Paddy Power’s charms!! I’ll be a pencil moustache by Sunday. A pencil moustache, like. How emasculating.

That’s when Paul starts tugging at me and I realise I’m actually still fully intact. Louise was using her fingers as imaginary scissors. Jesus Christ. That shit is not funny. I hear things but I can’t see things. How was I to know? Everyone knows beards are blind.

HOT FUZZ: I thought I looked pretty sharp against Cork earlier this season

Friday, April 5. The car.

“Kerry have made three changes to their team for Sunday’s trip to Omagh. Captain Eoin Brosnan, Paul Galvin and Colm Cooper return to starting line-up for the do-or-die relegation battle…”

I’d recognise the voice anywhere. It’s Paul Collins on Today Fm. I’m always wary when we get in the car (an Audi A5 Quattro if you’re wondering. Stylish and sophisticated, suits me.) It’s where he does all his thinking. And for a beard like me thinking only means one thing. Beard-stroking. He’s a devil for beard-stroking. And beard-sucking sometimes.

He gets a hold of my soul-patch (it’s actually called an Attilio) and sucks away. Plus he sometimes hears stuff on the radio that winds him up and he tugs on me even harder sometimes, even plucking me!! Usually, he puts on some music and visualises things he wants to happen and that’s when I can relax.

We’re driving downtown to find a charity store. He’s throwing out all his old clothes. Thank you, God. I am a beard and as such I’m very particular about my clothes. I find shirts (with the top button always fastened) show me off to my best effect. I hate v-neck tees and don’t start me on vests. Make me look like trailer-trash. His mother will be pleased all the same. That said, she’d be happy if he got rid of me along with the clothes. She never liked me from the start. Thinks I’m bad for his public image and reputation. Ha, that’s a laugh. I feel like reminding her I was a mere goatee when he GBH’d the notebook that time. She’s worse than Colm O’Rourke. He’s always telling Paul to shave me off.

I’ll give Paul one thing though, he’s a stubborn bastard. Hates being told what to do. Anyway I’m nervous. He’s back in the team. That can only mean one thing. He’ll trim me up like a turkey tomorrow night. He always does. It’s a ritual. That’s if he doesn’t get rid himself of me altogether. I can’t wait until he retires from football. I keep telling him he should be in TV by now. Where we will both be appreciated more. Bomber Liston didn’t have to put up with this shit. His beard never got death threats.

Saturday April 6. The team bus.

70% of Irishmen have ginger in their beards. That is factual. It’s a Celtic thing. I heard it on the Discovery Channel. Himself accounts for some of that 70%. It’s the reason why Darran O’Sullivan won’t grow a full beard. He’s afraid it will be ginger. I can see in the mirror I have acquired a ginger hue in certain places around my chin. Mirrors are to beards what guide dogs are to humans. They are our eyes. Well, for a short time anyway. Then we go back to being blind again depending so much on our ears for information. We’re on our way to Armagh at the moment. Big game tomorrow. Tomas O Sé and Paul get on so well. Always laughing. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t trim me tonight. He’ll probably hide my remains in Tomas’ bed again.

Louise hides the scissors on him now but there’s nothing she can do to save me when he’s away with the team. She really is stuck on me though that much is obvious. Hates to see me getting cut up. Hell, there are times when she plays with me and strokes me until I stand on end. I swear she must know what it does to me.

He’s been in really funny form this week. I’m waiting for him to reach for the scissors any second now. To trim me up or remove me altogether. Instead he just smiles to himself like he knows something. I’ve seen that smile before. That one he does when he knows the next move already. If I didn’t know any better I’d say Paddy Power and himself are in cahoots.

Sunday, April 7. 8am Armagh City Hotel.

We slept well. He trimmed me ever so slightly before bed, clean below ears to mid-jaw, a little tidy-up around the upper lip and a small trim around the jaw-line. Very little beard loss. And he didn’t bury my remains in Tomás’ bed this time. A good night’s work. Speaking of work it’s Tyrone today. Always tough work. Although I wasn’t around in 05 or 08 I know from the last few encounters how difficult it is to play them. Mind you the game itself is the least of my worries. I overheard Paul talking to Kieran Donaghy. Apparently there are a few beards on the Tyrone team too. Other beards really rub me up the wrong way. I just hope I look my best come throw in. I’m up for this one.

Sunday, April 7. 5pm Omagh. Kerry 1-16 Tyrone 2-12.

Well, that was a hairy one. I’m covered in f**king sand. Never seen a pitch like it. The result was hairy too. One point. Those Tyrone boys are tough as old boots. But it looks like we both survived the chop. Kerry and myself. It’s been a difficult week for me, full of conflicting emotions. I didn’t want to go and I didn’t want Kerry to go obviously, but at the same time the thought of Division 2 really wasn’t appealing. I’d rather be gone than go down there thats for sure. The bus is quiet on the way home. Between the Fu Manchus, the pencil moustaches and the mutton-chops I could murder a pint. Himself doesn’t go out much anymore though. Prefers listening to music. Downloaded Mirrors by Justin only yesterday in fact. Been on repeat since. He’s humming away to himself on the bus.

His mate Eddie says he’s the only man alive who sings the very same way as he talks. He sounds like distant traffic the poor man. We eventually reach the Bracken in Balbriggan for dinner. It’s been a long day and a long week. Paul gets off the bus, walks straight to the toilets with his gearbag and makes for the sink. He bends down for his washbag and picks out the scissors. Jesus Christ on a bicycle what’s happening here I’m thinking? He staring blankly at me. Beardyman is gonna do it. He’s gonna shear me. Paddy Power got the better of him. He holding the scissors close to his face in his right hand.

Suddenly he tilts his head towards the floor and clenches his left fist, his eyes turned up looking at the mirror. I’m like “what the f**k has gotten into this man? What’s he gonna do here?” And that’s when it happens. The words come pouring out that tell me we’ll never be parted and that Paul has most likely lost all connection with his sanity……

“Cause I don’t wanna lose you now,
I’m lookin right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold,
Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out,
You were right here all along
It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside me…..”

The mad f**ker is only singing into the scissors….. in front of the mirror….. in a hotel in Dublin….. Mirrors by JT. Jesus Christ, if anyone walked in? Ginger?? Id be gone full red!! I’m beginning to wish he had taken Paddy Powers odds and shaved me off. Odds?? You couldn’t get odder this fella. That’s the long and the short of it.

Waterford hurling legend John Mullane joins the Paddy Power blog team to give his expert opinion ahead of the weekend’s Allianz Hurling League Division 1A action.

Galway v Kilkenny, Live TG4, Sunday, 2pm

The word coming out of the Kilkenny camp is that they’re three or four weeeks behind schedule and I think Galway will target this game to make their intentions clear for the season. Galway are even money in the match betting and the key lies in how they are faring at half time. Every game they won last season they led and half time and the value to me seems to be the Tribesmen winning at half time and full time at 11/4.

If the last score of this match is a goal, Paddy Power will refund all losing single first goalscorer, last goalscorer, anytime goalscorer and first team goalscorer bets on this match. 

• Betting: Galway v Kilkenny 

Clare v Waterford, Sunday, 2pm.

Not too many Waterford teams win in Ennis – it’s a very hard place to get a result. Davy Fitzgerald has been playing down the Banner’s prospects this season but it’s a very important year for them and I think they could make the breakthrough this season and I can see them beating Waterford.  A lot of the Deise side will be making their debuts. Clare trained hard in November and did 25 sessions by all accounts. They are odds on at 1/3 to beat Waterford but Clare could well be value at 10/11 in the handicap betting at -4  points.

• Betting: Clare v Waterford 

It’s week two of the Allianz League and Paddy Power’s Senan Connell previews the Division One games and fancies an 11/4 treble of Cork, Donegal and Dublin. [Tweet this tip].

Cork v Kildare, Saturday, 7pm

You have to fancy Kildare, they’re great value going in to this game. They’re riding high and coming in to this game on a crest of a wave. The team is full of confidence and they’re great value at 5/2. Not only their performance at Croke Park last week against Donegal but the Auburn Cup gave them great confidence going forward. They have six games under their belt already and they are unbeaten this since. Cork are coming in to this game on the back of a heavy enough defeat 1-18 to 2-9 against Dublin, and Kildare are confident. The league is a slow burner for Kildare in recent years but they have two points in the bag and have been putting in some serious performances.

For first goalscorer you have to look at Tomas O’Connor. He’s in and around the scoring area for the whole match, he isn’t shipping out to midfield like a lot of full-forwards are. He is worth looking at after two goals in two games and his confidence is high. From a Cork point of view Colm O’Neill is a serious threat. Last weekend the Dublin keeper pulled off some great saves to deny him a goal and O’Neill will always play in and around the goal.

This will be a tighter match than people are expecting and the draw on the handicap (-3) looks like a good bet.

• Betting: Kildare v Cork 

Donegal v Down, Saturday, 7pm

Home advantage is huge and Donegal are playing in Balleybofey. The League was a slow burner for them last year, like Kildare, but once they start performing and get the fitness into their legs, the fact that they’re All-Ireland Champions, they’ll pick off games and get points on the board. They’ll earmark this game for victory because it is at home and it is against an Ulster side. We saw what the All-Ireland experience did to this Donegal side and their fitness.

They are only at 70 per cent fitness compared to what they were in February and March last year. The fact that they have the All-Ireland experience will give them serious confidence and they’ll be expecting to stay up which means they need six points and this is one they can just win.

In terms of the handicap, Down are +3 and that is good value at 10/11. Michael Murphy shifted between full-forward and midfield last week and he looks like the one threat who will get a goal when Connor McFadden isn’t playing. Murphy had a sniff of goal at Croke Park last week when he was surrounded by a lot of Kildare backs. He hit it off the outside off his right boot and it went just over the bar.

The odds will be short on him but he’s the one to look for as a first goalscorer, plus if there’s a penalty he’s the one who is going to be hitting it.

• Betting: Donegal v Down 

Kerry v Dublin, Sunday, 2pm

Dublin should be the favourites going in to this game. They don’t have any baggage and they have six games played already – five in the Auburn Cup and a good performance in Croke Park last weekend. They are coming in against a Kerry side who played against lesser sides in the McGrath Cup and won it, but they were surprised in Mayo. They didn’t score for the last 43 minutes which you can’t remember any Kerry side doing before. Maybe their confidence is low. This young Dublin side is travelling down to Killarny on Sunday with no baggage. What will differentiate the two teams will be the forwards.

Paddy Andrews was man of the match last week kicking five points, Bernard Brogan kicked six points and Dermot Connoly showed flashes of brilliance as well. Compare that to the Kerry forward line that didn’t shoot at all. They scored 1-6 in 70 minutes of play and not scoring for the last 43. The confidence is certainly with Dublin.

Bernard Brogan will play very close to the goal all match and it’s hard to look past him for first goalscorer. He is creating a lot as well and he is not a one-dimensional goalscorer. You should look at Dermot Connolly as well, if Dublin get a penalty he will hit it and if he ever gets a sniff of goal in and around the ‘D’ he always has his eyes on the net. From Kerry’s point of view, look at Darran O’Sullivan.

He is a very dynamic forward and a proper box-to-box player. It’ll be interesting to see if he gets any kind of space this weekend. As a first goalscorer this weekend though, you can’t look past Bernard Brogan.

Dublin can sneak this here so stay clear of Kerry on the handicap. If things go against Kerry they could be beaten by five or six points. It will go one of two ways: either it will be a very tight match, close to a draw or Dublin will win by a few. That’s why you should stay clear of backing Kerry on the handicap.

• Betting: Kerry v Dublin

Mayo v Tyrone, Sunday 2pm

Home advantage is huge in this one. You can go to Castlebar with the wind in your sails expecting a victory and you just might not get it. Mayo are a tough proposition and we saw that last weekend. They are a team that is very well established in Division One.

They’ve been there since 1998 and every other team has gone up or down at some stage since then. They have realised that their first two matches were at home and they already have two points in the bag. If they want to be making a semi-final they need to win both of their home games to ease the pressure on the road. You’d expect them to put another serious performance in this weekend.

As for Tyrone coming up from Division Two, they will always put a fight in. The wind is in their sails after the win against Down but it might be difficult for them to go to Castlebar. It’s always a heavy pitch but Mayo love it and they know the parameters well. The home side can win this by a couple of scores.

• Betting: Mayo v Tyrone

Football

Premier League managers will be glad to get their players back in one piece after the midweek internationals where England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales all won to bring up the yankee.

Wayne Rooney and Frank Lampard were on the mark for the Three Lions in their 2-1 win over Brazil which should boost Chelsea and Manchester United ahead of their games with Wigan and Everton respectively at the weekend.

But an under-fire Rafa Benitez will need to make sure that Gary Cahill remembers he was signed from Bolton – not Santos FC – as he tried to out ‘Brazil’ Brazil to gift the visitors an equaliser before his club-mate saved his blushes.

Rooney should line up against his old club Everton on Sunday before United face Real Madrid on Wednesday night at the Bernabeu in the first leg of the Champions League quarter-final.

And if Wayne Rooney scores the last goal against Everton Paddy Power will refund all losing First/last goalscorer, correct score & scorecast singles on the match.

Gareth Bale continues his goal-scoring form which will please Andre Villas-Boas as he slalomed past the Austrian defence – without even looking like falling – to slot the ball home.  Spurs are breathing down Chelsea’s necks for third place and they face Newcastle in Saturday’s early kick-off.

• Premier League Coupon

Darts

Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor and Michael van Gerwen played out an incredible repeat of the World Championship Final in the Premier League drawing 6-6. Mighty Mike had darts for the match but the 16-time World Champion Taylor kept fighting back to record a point in the opening week.

Because the match ended a draw Paddy Power refunded losing singles on that game as punters cashed in on some more of Paddy’s generosity.

Earlier in the evening Rob Thornton won his first ever Premier League match beating Andy Hamilton and Wes Newton’s poor finishing allowed James Wade to steal an opening week victory 7-4. Simon Whitlock and Raymond van Barneveld continued their good form beating Adrian Lewis and Gary Anderson respectively.

• Betting: Premier League outright

Golf

Last weekend was all about Phil Mickelson but ‘Lefty’ could only shoot a round of 69 at the Pebble Beach National as Hunter Mahan and Russell Knox share the lead on six-under-par.

Scott Langley is one of six players one shot off the lead with Lee Westwood on four-under. Brandt Snedeker is a man in form and he heads the in-play betting at 5/1 after a solid opening round of 66.

• Betting: Golf Coupon

Racing

Today’s racing in the UK and Ireland comes from Bangor, Kempton, Newcastle, Wolverhampton and Dundalk. For all the racing information at home and abroad keep an eye on Paddy Power’s weather update right here. We can assure you he’s a touch more reliable than Michael Fish.

A fantastic weekend of racing at Newbury at Leopardstown in Ireland. The 23-runner Betfair Hurdle throws up more sub-plots than the average episode of Eastenders with trainers wanting to take advantage of good handicap marks for this valuable prize as Cheltenham looms into view.

Nicky Henderson’s Supreme Novice hope My Tent or Yours heads Paddy Power’s market on 4/1 with dark horse Cotton Mill - making his seasonal debut at 9/1 third favourite where Paddy Power is paying 1/4 the odds the first 5 home.

Something’s going to give at Leopardstown as Gold Cup hopefuls Sir Des Champs and Flemenstar go head-to-head in the Hennessy Gold Cup.

Depending on the manner of the defeat one set of connections are going to have their Cheltenham dreams dashed – although a repeat of the Lexus Chase – where the first four home were within kicking distance of each other – may see both take their chance in jumps racing Blue Riband.

• Betting: All Friday’s cards, form and odds
• Betting: Future Racing & Cheltenham 2013

It’s the opening weekend of the GAA National Football league. Former Dublin star @SenanConnell gives his expert betting tips to Paddy Power

Donegal v Kildare, Saturday, 5pm, Live on RTE2

Kildare have had a really good run in the O’Byrne Cup and they’re a very young and exuberant side. The manager Kieran McGeeney has mixed the youth with some experience and it certainly worked for him throughout the O’Byrne Cup.

Niall Kelly, Daniel Flynn and Paddy Brophy are all young players who looked good against Dublin and they’re names we haven’t heard of before. Kildare have done very well so far this year.

Up until the announcement of the Donegal squad I would have expected Kildare to win this game.

Jim McGuinness has named 13 of the 15 players who started the All-Ireland final for Donegal in his side for this game. Now we don’t know if all these players will end up playing but it’s certainly going to be a formidable line-up.

This looks like it’s going to be a humdinger of a match. Both managers need to get a good footing in Division 1. Traditionally they’ve been slow starters in the league with both teams losing their opening two games last year.

I was favouring Kildare until I saw Donegal’s line-up. Now I’m leaning towards the All-Ireland champions at 6/5 [share this tip on twitter]

• Betting: Donegal v Kildare

Dublin v Cork, Saturday 7pm, Live on RTE2

This is another difficult one to call.

Initially I feltDublin would win this game, purely because they had five tough games under their belt in their run to the O’Byrne Cup final. Game time stands to players and winning breeds confidence and the younger players would have garnered a lot of confidence from the O’Byrne Cup run.

However, they’re playing against the league specialists. It’s a very settled Cork side, particularly the forward line, and they’ve won the last three leagues in-a-row. They’re also a team that doesn’t concede a lot of goals, I think they conceded one goal from open play in the Championship last year.

When you look at the two teams on paper the thing that is going to dictate this game is how the relatively inexperienced Dublin backline copes against a very experienced Cork full-forward line. Whoever comes out on top in this battle should win the game.

Cork do have some ageing legs in their backline, with the likes of Graham Canty and Paudie Kissane, and I like the look of the Dublin full-forward line with Kevin McManamon, Diarmuid Connolly and Bernard Brogan. So this is going to be another interesting battle.

It’s sure to be a tough physical game and there’s no doubt Dublin will really put it up to Cork but I have a sneaking suspicion Cork will win at Croke Park late this Saturday at odds of about 11/10 with Paddy Power [share this tip on Twitter]

Money-Back Special – If a team wins by one point in this game, we will refund all losing single First Goalscorer, Last Goalscorer, Anytime Goalscorer and First Team Goalscorer bets on the match!

• Betting: Dublin v Cork

Dublin v Kildare
The O’Byrne Cup Final – Parnell Park
Saturday 7pm

We’ve two teams coming in to this game with very different agendas. Kildare have erred on the side of caution in their team selection, going back to the trusted the tried and the proven whereas as Dublin have been very experimental with their line-ups.

From Dublin’s point of view coming in to this game it’s very much players trying to consolidate their place in the panel or else they’re trying to fight to get in to the 30 man league squad Dublin manager Jim Gavin is going to release later in the week.

Looking at the prices, Dublin are the favourites at 8/15 and Kildare at 15/8, I think they’re quite generous odds from Kildare’s point of view. I believe Kieran McGeeney is going out this year with the idea that his team are going to win every game. That includes the O’Byrne Cup and games in the national league. They’re playing the last three All Ireland champions over the next few weeks and Kieran will be looking to hit the ground running.

A lot of people have been talking Dublin up to win this game but I’m not so sure

There has never been a massive amount between the sides in terms of the back-line or in terms of scores on the board at the end of the game. I expect a similarly close game in this final.

Senan Says: Kildare +2pts at 10/11

Seanie Johnston (Kildare)

I expect at lot from him this season. He has a lot to prove to everybody. Not in terms of pressure but in terms of performances and proving his worth a place in this Kildare side. I believe he’s absolutely flying at the moment. The heavy ground this time of year doesn’t usually suit the lighter players but I hear he’s bouncing off the ground looking very keen and eager.

We know he has a good eye for a goal and he’s a sharp shooter when it comes to his free-kicks. If he gets a sniff of goal he’ll certainly bang one away. He might find it hard on the heavy ground and competing against very physical Dublin backs to sneak in and get a goal but certainly he’ll keep the scoreboard ticking over.

Bernard Brogan (Dublin)

We know he wasn’t at his best in the Summer last year and he himself has put this down to the fact that he missed the early months of training when he was away. He had a niggling injury all the way through the National League and he never really recovered the form which saw him named Footballer of the Year the season before.

If Dublin are going to be successful this year they need Bernard playing well. He’s showing a nice bit of form and I thought he looked very sharp in a couple of the qualifiers, particularly against DCU. He scored 2-7 last week, scoring two goals in 90 seconds, and that’s the sort of form your marquee forward should be showing in any competition.

Dublin are evens to score the first goal and that’s a bet I’d fancy with Brogan in this form. He’s 11/2 to score the first goal, which is well worth backing.

Senan Says: Brogan to score first goal at 11/2.

• Betting: Dublin v Kildare

Donegal GAA Senior football manager and 2012 All-Ireland winner Jim McGuinness but you might now him as the man the song ‘Jimmy’s winning matches’ is all about. The anthem has over 750,000 views on Youtube and was heard up and down the country for most of the summer.

Now he has joined Celtic as a performance consultant in a completely new role in a different sport all together. McGuinness will be joining the Hoops to help the development of young players, but what will he be bringing to the club?

Chris McNulty is the sports writer for the Donegal News and joins the lads on the Padcast to explain what a good appointment this is for Neil Lennon’s squad and how the success McGuinness had in GAA can translate to football. Chris has worked with McGuinness for several years and explains what kind of manager he is and how his relationship with young players is second-to-none.

With Barry Lenihan still on International duty, Josh and Ciaran go through some of the week’s stranger stories from the world of sport and look ahead to the big North London Derby on Saturday between Arsenal and Tottenham.

Last week the New Kids on the Blog nailed a whopping 14/1 four-fold and they’re back with an even more adventurous 70/1 acca for this weekend’s action.

• Padcast host Ciaran O Raghallaigh on Twitter
• Padcast producer Josh Powell on Twitter
• Betting: How many trophies will Celtic win?
  
• Betting: Arsenal v Tottenham
• Betting: Premier League coupon

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All-Ireland winner Damien Fitzhenry gives the Paddy Power Blog his exclusive insight on the All-Ireland hurling final between Kilkenny and Galway.

Kilkenny have played two games against Galway now, they’ve lost the Leinster Final and drawn the All-Ireland Final, so it’s a huge plus for Galway going into this game. But it could be the thing that Brian Cody will harp on about for the last two or three weeks. Let’s get out there and have a look at this team and see what Galway can do because we have to change things around and do things differently. Today could be the time that Kilkenny change.

They’ve let Galway take the lead in the last two games but they can reverse that and try to take the lead. Get Galway chasing them and see how Galway react and then see what happens. The sideline will win this game, how the tactics work for both teams is crucial.

Going back to the last game Galway got a great start and Kilkenny had, in fairness, some uncharacteristic wides just before half-time. They had four or five in row and that’s not the kind of Kilkenny team we’re used to. They looked a little bit rattled. They got their composure back at half-time and moved Henry Shefflin out to centre forward and he gave us an exhibition of hurling from centre-forward in the second half, the best that you will see for a long long time. He clawed them back into it single-handedly. But I don’t think that will happen on Sunday.

For Kilkenny to prosper they’re going to have to have at least a better showing from three or four of their forwards which they didn’t have the last day. The pressure will be on them slightly but that’s when they’ll be at their best.

The game that Galway play is pure hard work. Their mantra is fight for every ball, keep moving, keep going, if it’s not there you have to work and work and work. But your body will only let you work so much.

I have tipped Galway the whole way along but that was their day three weeks ago and this will be a different Kilkenny team that turns up. Kilkenny will come out on top on Sunday.

Back a winning first goalscorer in this match and if that same player goes on to score another goal in the match, then we’ll pay you at DOUBLE your original odds!

• Betting: Kilkenny v Galway

If you had told me at the start of the year that Donegal and Mayo would be in the All-Ireland final I wouldn’t have believed you.

Donegal were semi-finalists last year but have improved again and the county is in a frenzy at the moment will talk of bringing Sam home. Mayo had a good league campaign beating Kerry and Dublin – but I think a lot of people underestimated that form.

Donegal have beaten Tyrone, Cork and Kerry and they can suffocate teams when they score early on and then go on a run of scores in the third quarter.

Mayo have come in under the radar but know they find themselves in an All-Ireland final. They’ve back-to-back Connaught titles and they’ve won ugly as well.

They’ve got this hoodoo about Croke Park to overcome but that League form will stand to them in the capital. They’ve a good pedigree coming into the game.

This could be the most tactical All-Ireland final we’ve ever seen and it’s crucial that Mayo are level are slightly ahead at half-time because Donegal will be coming on strong in the latter stages.

Mayo manager James Horan has a decision to make and he has to get it right. Does he let Mayo play their own game or start to man mark Donegal’s forwards.

Jim McGuinness’s Donegal will have to watch Kevin McLoughlin and Alan Dillon who were key players against Dublin. When McLoughlin went off as a blood-sub Dublin went on the rampage and kicked eight points.

I can’t see this being a lovely, flowing game of football. It’s going to be tight and tactical and whoever makes the least mistakes are going to win.

Donegal are now as use to playing in Croker as Ballbofey and have won 11 of their last 12 Championship matches. I think they’ll see the game out at 1/2 favourites in Paddy Power’s online betting.

Donegal have only conceded one goal in open play in the last two Championships  - but have conceded two penalties.

But Mayo will have to score a goal in my opinion to have any chance. Donegal are ravenous to win this one. I expect them to win and even money at -2 on the handicap betting is a great bet.

Colm McFadden at 11/2 to score the first goal is interesting. He’s direct so if he gets a sniff at goal he’s going to go for it.  He takes the penalties as well so that’s another big plus.

It’s harder to see who’ll score the goals for Mayo.

But what sticks out for me is the no-goalscorer market option at 9/2 in Paddy Power’s online betting and I’d fancy that as a more reliable option.

Donegal are 10/11 to be leading at half-time and full-time. I can’t see them being beaten if they’re leading at half-time particularly how they finish their games.

We put up Mark McHugh to be the GAA’s Player of the Year at 20/1 and he’s in to 7/1 now.  He’s going to get a lot of ball and he has a steady game he’s looking at an All-Star at least.

I think Meath will put it up to Dublin in the U-18 game and although I expect the Capital to win, I think the Royals will get to within six points of them at 11-10 in the betting.

Best bets:

Donegal (-2) evens  / Meath (+6) evens on the handicap double.

Donegal v Mayo senior game: No goalscorer at 9/2.

• All-Ireland Betting: Donegal v Mayo

By Aidan Elder | Chief sports writer

It’s one of the enduring myths of the GAA. Like it’s OK to borderline maim someone as long as it’s done with a shoulder. Or the belief that wearing shorts just long enough to cover the genitals is acceptable in decent society. For better or worse, it’s here to stay and it’ll take a lot of concussions or inopportune flashes of testicle before things start to change.

‘Mayo don’t show up at Croke Park’ is one of the GAA notions that seems set in stone. Like it’s one of the fundamental principles Messrs Cusak, Davin et al agreed when they convened for the founding of their organisation in Hayes’ Hotel all those years ago.

You can almost picture it:

‘Motion six – we all agree that Mayo will be horribly crap when they play in Croke Park. All in favour…
‘Aye.’
‘Passed. Now on to motion seven – the maximum length of shorts shall not extend to more than one inch below the scrotum … ‘

Clearly that’s not how it happened, but put 15 Mayo men in the under the glare of the Croke Park’s towering stands and they have tended to under-perform. They’ve become synonymous with flopping on the big occasion, but is it a reputation they deserve? The Paddy Power Blog has delved into the recent past to analyse the myth.

In short, it’s not true, but like all good myths, its essence has some basis in fact.

Mayo don’t win as often as they should reasonably be expected to when they make the trip up to headquarters. By and large, you make it to Croke Park because you have won a few games of some description. Sometimes you’ll travel to headquarters as the underdog and on other times you’ll be the favourites. All in all, winning about half the time is a reasonable expectation for a team of Mayo’s stature and they’ve fallen well short of that over the years. Since 2001, they’ve played in Croke Park 24 times (the total of their Championship and various league games), winning 42 per cent of the time.

Still, the more mathematically minded among us will have noticed that 42 is a lot better than zero. Clearly Mayo are capable of winning at Croke Park and the theory of their no-shows at Croker also doesn’t hold much weight in the longer term.

In a time so long ago Jimmy Magee might even struggle to recall it, Mayo’s return when they came up to Croke Park for an All-Ireland Final was perfectly acceptable. They contested six between 1916 and 1951, winning three. That’s were the problems begin.

Fast becoming a choke

Since the halcyon days of back to back titles at the start of the fifties, it’s been heart-break heaped upon laborious cross-country treks thanks to five defeats on the bounce. There was of course a draw in 1996, but all the hang sandwiches and TK red lemonade in the world won’t turn that into a moment of any real glory.

Mayo’s win rate at Croker isn’t disastrous, but it’s the big ones that stick in the memory and make the ‘Croker chokers’ label hard to shake of in the public consciousness. For example the pummelling they took at the hands of Kerry in the All-Ireland Final of 2006 made put the victories over Laois and Dublin in Croker further to the back of the mind than they probably deserve. Obviously the final is when they want to turn it on, but it’s clear it’s not merely the spotlight of Croke Park that’s causing mass ‘deer in the headlights’ syndrome for the Green and Reds. They haven’t got it together at the crucial, generation-defining moments against quality teams and the reputation as flops has stuck.

It’s something that is slowly beginning to change. Thanks to James Horan master-minding the victory over the heavily-fancied All-Ireland champions, Cork in his first season in charge, the idea of a Croker collapse isn’t nailed on as may think. He has franked the form by coming up to the capital this summer and beating Down and then Dublin. The gradual shaking of the monkey off the back has continued and the Mayo manager is fully aware of the changing perception:

This team is plotting its own course, and over the last two years we have changed some of the opinions that there are about Mayo football

Far from Done’ and dusted

So to this attempt at redemption. The odds have Mayo as the 2/1 underdogs to lift Sam, but they were a bigger price to beat Dublin and that worked out pretty well for the Westerners. If Croke Park ever caused concern in Mayo minds, it’s increasingly becoming a thing of the past. Donegal have impressed throughout the summer and they are worthy favourites. Jim McGuinness has brought the right ethos to a talented panel and the Herring Gutters are now hard-working, adaptable and generally look like champions-elect.

But the team that have impressed all the way through the Championship haven’t always gone on to claim the honours. The last 61 years of Mayo football tell us that.

ALL POWERFUL: Richie Power celebrated the 2006 All-Ireland win with his floating Jesus impression (pic: Inpho)

By Aidan Elder | Chief sports writer

July 8 2012.
It was meant to be a momentous day in the history of hurling. Kilkenny were down, out and destroyed. The dynasty was dying. The Mayans may not have mentioned the Cats’ downfall specifically as a sign the world was about to end, but it certainly had that ‘shaking our fundamental beliefs’ feeling to it. Galway’s astonishing performance showed Brian Cody’s men weren’t just beatable, they were ordinary. ‘A world where Kilkenny can get hammered?’ It felt like one of those ridiculous notions you get in bizarre parallel universes. Planet Jedward perhaps.

That Leinster Final day was a watershed moment, but not for the reasons many presumed. The obituaries have had to be filed away. They’re not needed and possibly won’t be for a few years yet. In the manner you’d expect from true greats, they bounced right. If the hammering at the hands of the Tribesmen was Kilkenny’s Rattle and Hum moment, they came right back with an Achtung Baby. They kicked clear of Limerick as if merely being in a quarter-final was an insult to their brilliance and then sent out the warning shot of all warning shots by dismantling their fierce rivals from Tipperary in the semi-final.

Clearly there’s not a whole lot wrong with the set-up, but the defeat to Galway has provoked some wider questions about Kilkenny. At some point Tommy Walsh will be too long in the tooth to scare the life out of opposition forwards. There will be a time when there isn’t enough petrol in the tank to get JJ Delaney up and down the pitch. And – as unpalatable as it sounds – we will come to a day when we’ll no longer see the ginger mane of Henry Shefflin sneaking out from under his green helmet. Where exactly is this generation in their life cycle?

The Paddy Power Blog has had a look at how the 2012 vintage compares with the sides we’ve seen since this sequence of seven All-Ireland finals and five victories began in 2006.

The evidence suggests they’re still operating towards the top of their high standards. There’s little data to illustrate a decline. The size of the defeat to Galway was a shock, but subsequent games have shown that it was a blip rather than the Cats running out of lives. The pundits often like to point to the vague concept of ‘hunger’ as an explanation for a team’s success or failure. As if one set of players ‘wanted it’ more than life itself while the others just weren’t that arsed.

Not found wanting

It terms of ‘wanting it’, the Cats seem as focussed as ever. They’ve scored to similar levels as their peak years. Aside from the bumper year of 2008 when they averaged nearly 33 points a game, 2012 is right up there in terms of racking up the tallies. This year they’ve averaged 27 points per game, slightly less than the 2007 average of 27.8 but ahead of the 25 that counts as a low by the Cats’ high expectations.

The average score totals for each year can be misleading. They can be inflated by a couple of big wins or dragged down by low-scoring, but nonetheless convincing performances. The average winning margin is probably more use in gauging how they handled what was put against them. Again 2008 is the standout season in terms of the size of the victories, but this Championship summer isn’t far behind.

Helped by trouncing Wexford in the Leinster Final and handing Waterford their biggest embarrassment since Gilbert O’Sullivan in the All-Ireland Final, they beat teams by an average of 17.25 points in 2008. This year, when they have won, they’ve done so with similar authority, averaging a 15 point gap by the time the referee called a halt to the pummellings.

The very reason Galway can take heart going into the final is the same reason they need to be afraid. They didn’t wake a sleeping giant on Leinster Final day so much as crapped on his doorstep and rubbed his nose in it. The Tribesmen were ferocious and ruthless that day. Thanks to themselves, they will need to be the same all over again this Sunday to beat Kilkenny.

A JOE SHOW: Canning is 5/1 to score first for Galway against Kilkenny on Sunday (pic: Inpho)

By Damien FitzHenry | All Ireland winner

Will lightning strike twice for Galway after they hammered Kilkenny 2-21 to 2-11 in the Leinster Final?

The odds are against it with Paddy Power where Kilkenny are 4/11 with Galway at 11/4 and the draw an early 12/1 in their online betting.

It’s easy to see why the Cats are such overwhelming favourites given their Championship pedigree.

This is their seventh successive All-Ireland final appearance and their 13th in 15 seasons. If they win they’ll lift the Liam MacCarthy Cup for the 34th time.

There’s probably the best team to play hurling in the last 70 years having won a remarkable 52 time in 60 championships matches, losing only seven times including this year’s Leinster Final and drawing just one.

Galway caught them on the hop that day. Moving corner forward Damien Hayes to midfield was a masterstroke on the day by manager Anthony Cunningham.

The Cats struggled with the tactic and the Tribesmen possession game and Galway surprised me – and themselves I’d say – with the winning margin.

But that was then and this is now and Kilkenny won’t fall for the same trick twice.

Galway were out of the traps like lightning that day. The kept the Cats scoreless for 20 minutes and were 2-12 to 0-4 ahead at half-time.

Kilkenny did well to get so many scores in the second half and will be in no mood to let Galway get away from them that quickly again.

There won’t be much in it and the handicap betting could be the way to go with Kilkenny (-4) evens, Galway (+4) 10/11 and the draw (-4) at 12/1.

But I have a gut feeling that Cunningham might have something up his sleeve again. He did it once so who’s to say he can’t do it again?

I said  Galway would win the All-Ireland after the Leinster final. They’ve beaten Cork since in the semi’s and I’m sticking with them to beat Kilkenny again.

And all of Galway knows that one huge game will see the Liam MacCarthy Cup head West across the Shannon for the first time since 1988 when they retained their title by beating Tipperary.

In their firs goalscorer market Joe Canning is 5/1 to score the first goal in Paddy Power’s online betting and if he or anyone scores first and goes on to score a second Paddy Power will double the first goalscorer odds.

He’s in the shape of his life and was exceptional against Kilkenny in the Leinster Final.

He’s put the hard slog in over the Winter and that has reaped its own rewards.

• Betting: Kilkenny v Galway coupon

It’s the highlight of the sporting calendar for hurling fans and this year’s All-Ireland final has the makings of a classic. Kilkenny go into Sunday’s game the reigning champions and are in their seventh consecutive All-Ireland final. The most successful team in hurling history face a Galway side who stunned the Cats by beating them in the Leinster Final.

Paddy Power is expecting a belting final on Sunday at Croke Park and has rustled up a cracking Money-Back Special worthy of the occasion.

If you back a winning first goalscorer in the match and that player goes on to score another in the game, Paddy will pay you out at DOUBLE your original odds.

In the Leinster final in July, Kilkenny were expected by many to win convincingly but it wasn’t to be. Galway played an unbelievable game to win by 10 points, 2-21 2-11. It was pretty much the stick that poked the angry bear. Since that day Kilkenny have blown everybody out of the water and played Tipperary off the park in the semi-final.

The Cats are the 4/11 favourites for Sunday’s encounter with The Tribesmen out at 11/4. Whatever happens you can be sure that if your player is in the scoring mood you could be doubling up your odds courtesy of Paddy Power!

• Betting: Kilkenny v Galway

It’s the second semi-final at Croke Park on Sunday and reigning champions Dublin face Mayo. I think all the pressure is on Pat Gilroy’s Dublin side and Mayo manager James Horan will be happy with that.

Of the four semi-finalists Mayo have slipped somewhat under the radar and the focus has been on the Dubs to reach consecutive All-Ireland finals in the hunt for Sam.

I don’t think it will be easy for the reigning champions who have stuttered so far in this year’s championship.

They were lucky at times against Wexford, Meath and Laois and really look like they’re struggling to reignite the ravenous hunger they showed last year to lift Sam.

Years of heartbreak in the latter stages of the championship gave them that appetite but it doesn’t appear to be there this season.

Dublin go into this tie at 4/9 favourites in Paddy Power’s online betting with Mayo at 5/2 while the draw is priced up at 8/1.

But Pat Gilroy is not without his headaches in team selection.

Should he start Alan Brogan? The ace forward has been injured and punters need to be aware he won’t last 70 minutes of top-flight football if he’s on from the start.

I think he’ll certainly see game time but will it be at the throw-in or will he come on as a sub?

From Dublin supporters’ perspective they need a fit Alan Brogan driving forward and getting scores.

They need his brother Bernard to have his radar on also. The forwards haven’t really being firing on all cylinders with just 1-4 from play in the last eight games with Alan missing.

If Dublin are going to score and score heavily they’ll need both Brogan’s to be on top of their game.

When the Dubs start to roll they can score goals.

In the first goalscorer’s market Bernard Brogan appeals at 5/1 as he’s going to be the focus in attack while 15/8 for him to score a goal at anytime is tempting.

If you’re a partisan Dub the 10/3 for Bernard Brogan to score first for the Capital looks a fair price.

Diarmuid Connolly got a hat-trick against Mayo in the League at Croker and 13/5 for him to hit the net at anytime has to enter calculations.

A worry I would have though is that defensively they’ve lacked discipline and Laois scored eight frees against them.

They can’t afford to concede soft frees to this Mayo side because they’ll gladly pick them off.

Ger Brennan comes into the Dubs defence and that’s a major plus. I believe the ‘A’ team in training is moving very, very well and the competition for places is huge.

Mayo have had a month to prepare without talisman Andy Moran so they should be ready to deal with his absence.

But it is hard to see who’ll get them scores and goals in particular.

They’ll have a structure and a game plan to unhinge the Dublin defence and could spring a surprise.

The last time the two sides met at this stage was six years ago so I don’t think that will have a massive bearing on Sunday’s clash.

I’m not sure though that Mayo can emulate Donegal last week against Cork and take that giant stride forward to be All-Ireland contenders.

If Dublin click I’d expect them to win and if the 4/9 isn’t to your liking I think they’ll cover the handicap (-2) at 4/5.

In the anytime point scorers Stephen Cluxton at 1/3 to kick at 45’ is tempting while Paul Flynn, who looks well on his way to an All-Star, looks a bit of value to put one over the bar at 4/9.

Mayo’s Donal Vaughan at 3/2 Lee Keegan at 5/6 and Keith Higgins at 10/3 are all decently priced to get points for the Westerners. Higgins might be a corner-back but he will ramble forward to try to get scores for Mayo.

Overall I’d expect Dublin to advance to the final by a 1-3 point winning margin at 11/4.

• Betting: Dublin v Mayo Coupon

FLAT OUT: David Brady is inconsolable after Mayo lost to Meath in the 1996 All-Ireland replay (pic: Inpho)

By Aidan Elder | Chief sports writer

It’s all about the curse. That pesky curse.
It’s 61 years since Sam Maguire was brought triumphantly across the borders of Mayo and it’s all down to a spell cast on the county’s footballers. Possibly.

The story goes that a priest whose name no-one seems to remember or who never existed in the first place put the curse on the team. After winning their last All-Ireland in 1951, the team reportedly descended on Foxford while a funeral was in progress. Furious at the unwanted disturbance in the middle of the religious ceremony, he reached beyond the forgiveness and straight for the black magic. Mayo would not win another All-Ireland title until the last member of the victorious 1951 team had died.

Unlikely as the delving into the world of the supernatural, Mayo have upheld their side of the bargain and the drought has been unbroken for well over half a century.

The truth is there was never a curse. If the holy man had that sort of power, he would have surely used it to wish himself out of Foxford. If there is something strange afoot, it’s the supernatural ability of generations of Mayo men to freeze when in the bright lights of Croke Park around the middle of September.

This Mayo team may not have to turn to external forces to explain their shortcomings for much longer. Since the low of a 2010 qualifier exit at the hands of Longford and John O’Mahony’s resignation, James Horan has set about the long process of rebuilding. Except it hasn’t taken long. In his first season he guided them to an All-Ireland semi-final that not even the most deluded of supporters could have hoped for.

In just the second year of his reign, they find themselves at the penultimate hurdle and unlike 12 months earlier, they’re not just there for a day trip and building up experience for an unspecified point in the future. Mayo have a real chance.

Dublin’s performance in the quarter-final against Laois is the main cause for Mayo optimism. The performance typified the problems with the champions this year. It was sloppy and unconvincing – the GAA equivalent of a Fair City scene. It’s not the first time you could say that about the Jackeens this summer and when viewed alongside Mayo’s convincing defeat of Down earlier that same day, points towards the underdog having his day. There’s no shortage of takers for the 9/4 on offer for the Connacht champions.

Then again, it’s hard to shake off the feeling that this is exactly the way Pat Gilroy wants it. After almost every game this campaign he’s had to utter something along the lines of ‘if we play like that again, we’ll lose’. They generally have gone on to play like that again and they’ve hung on in there. Gilroy won’t be delighted with how much flat his team have been, but the lack of hype serves a purpose. Instead of building up the Dubs for their fall, the papers have focused on the gold and green whirlwind that’s moved in from the north. ‘Low key’ and ‘Dublin’ are words you don’t often see in the same sentence, but their form this season has kept feet on the ground.

The absence of Andy Moran is nominated as the major negative for Mayo’s chances of reaching their first All-Ireland decider since 2006. The return of Alan Brogan from the knock he picked up against Meath compounds the bad fortune. Dublin are rated as favourites for the game, but unlike other years, there’s no blithe dismissing of their opponents. That’s probably not the curse of events Mayo would have liked.