The Invisible Man took care of the foreplay.

OOO ER. Gentle moan of pleasure. Sharp scream of pain. “You’re on my hair.” THUD. THUD. THUD. “Oh yeah.” THUD. THUD. THUD. “Oh yeah.” THUD. THUD. THUD. “Mmmm keep going.” FASTER THUD. FASTER THUD. FASTER THUD. “Oh yeah, oh yeaaaaaahhhh!! Sorry love, I couldn’t help it.” SSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE

If you were upset that Big Brother didn’t show the scenes of Chanelle and Ziggy trying a bit of how’s your father, that’s what you missed. Probably.

According to the Sun, “Big Brother fans bombarded The Sun yesterday after bosses cut Ziggy’s romp with Chanelle.” You can imagine them at home, presumably thinking ‘there are just so many injustices in the world, famine, inequality, oppression, poverty - which one will I use my energies to combat? Hmmm … I don’t know … I feel quite strongly about not seeing those Big Brother guys riding, I think I’ll write a letter to The Sun.’

One viewer – and by viewer I do in fact mean pervert – moaned “they are both consenting adults … they should be able to get up to things … I’m gutted we can’t see it.” Clearly, he (being a bit presumptuous, but in fairness, it’s probably a man) was frustrated because he went out of his way to pick up a box of Kleenex on the way home. Still, Fern Britton*was on Have I Got News For You last night so he probably still got some use out of them!!
*Not to be confused with Fearne Cotton

What’s this about men not being bitchy?! Yeah right, whatever! Just because you boys bitch in different ways doesn’t mean you don’t bitch at all!

Only today I was passing the watercooler and there they were! I’m mentioning no names!

As far as Big Brother goes, I’m starting to think Ziggy should have shacked up with Charley instead of Chanelle, if not for a mooch, then for countless hours of non stop chin wagging about fellow housemates!
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Well well, what a shocker. Seany, Jonathan and Carole all up for eviction. How Charley managed to escape we’ll never know!

Unfortunately and perhaps surprisingly Seany is the favourite to get the boot this week at 8/13. His childish behaviour in the house hasn’t done him any favours and judging from the betting the public are ready to say goodbye to the Irishman. What’s the odds on Gerry bawling his eyes out when that happens?!

Self made millionaire Jonathan is the second favourite to go. Funny how most of the girls nominated him. He is very outspoken, so perhap’s the truth was just to much to take! I actually like Jonathan and I reckon we’ll be seeing him for another week or so.
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Remember, you heard it here first.

In a bid to boost viewers and throw a spanner in the works Big Brother will change the format of the show tomorrow night.

Instead of just showing one normal highlights show, Channel 4 will broadcast two separate installments of Big Brother. The first one will be a normal highlights show and the second show will be a Live Task broadcast.

It’s not yet known why Channel 4 have decided to broadcast a Live task, but rumours are rife it will have some bearing on the pending eviction on Friday. Hmmm… this might explain why Charley’s price has drifted to over 6/1 to be evicted, having been odds on at 1/2 since yesterday!

Big Brother’s slogan is ‘Expect the Unexpected’ so it really wouldn’t surprise me if this was a ploy to keep trouble stirrer Charley in the house. The decision to broadcast a Live task on Wednesday certainly has us at Paddy Power on the edge of our seats!

S xx

The temperature is rising in the Big Brother house with lovebirds Seany and Gerry cosying up to each other more and more every day. Only last night the pair shared a sloppy snog during a game of Truth or Dare and I have to say the shenanigans have got me wondering - could we be looking at a big fat Greek wedding? There’s no doubt about it the red blooded Irishman and the Greek God certainly make a cute couple and let’s face it - it beats watching Chanelle & Ziggy!

Speaking of which, it’s not all rosy in the garden between the posh n Becks wannabe’s and, well, to be honest, I’m delighted because I think Ziggy is sleazy and false! Chanelle (who’s now become one of my favourites) has turned her attention to male model Billi, (much to the disappointment of Ziggy) and rightly so - he’s bloody gorgeous! Not that I’m a good judge. My taste leaves alot to be desired…I could find something attractive in Gordon Brown if I had to!
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Surely a career highlight so far, I’ve been quoted in the ooh-aah Daily Star today under the headline “Gay Romp Odds On” - much to the amusement of my friends who now see me as an expert on all things man love.

Has anyone else’s friends found amusement in your name appearing in unusual scenarios? Maybe on google, gravestones or pub toilets…

Taken from BBC.co.uk:
‘Emily, 19, said the word was “a friendly term” where she came from.’

The above image is Emily’s profile taken from thc Channel 4 website. Notice the way where it says “Home:”, the word that follows is “Bristol” and not “A three thousand acre cotton plantation in Tennessee in the 1760s where I live with my redneck parents, redneck siblings and a staff of 50 slaves that Pa says we shouldn’t talk to.”

‘A friendly term’ where you come from?? Emily, you’re an idiot.

Oh dear, I used the word ‘idiot’ - apologies to all the idiots out there.

It’s like Déja Vu for the producers of Big Brother with another contestant making racist remarks. This has really thrown a spanner in the works regarding this Friday’s eviction and again punters are confused as to where they stand.

Well the good news is folks, if you had a bet with our good selves (and I’m not blowing trumpets here) your bet is as safe as houses. If you were unfortunate enough to back Emily, we’ll refund your stake and if you have money on Shabnam to get evicted 1st, your bet will still stand. If Shabnam manages to avoid eviction we’ll refiund all stakes placed before 3am this morning, so either way you’re on to a winner!

The edit tonight will show exactly what was said to cause producers to take such extreme measures, but it’ll be the aftermath that Channel 4 bosses will have to deal with. Press coverage tomorrow is not going to be in their favour and could very well add fuel to the fire in the row over whether or not the controversial reality show should be banned.

We commend Big Brother for reacting quickly and punishing housemates for unacceptable behaviour but we’ve also cut the odds on Big Brother getting axed from 10/1 to 11/2. After the whole Jade Goody/Shilpa Shetty race row, chances are Channel 4 could be swimming in very deep waters again…only this time without armbands!

So, Shabba and Emily are up for eviction eh? It couldn’t happen to two nicer girls! Okay so, let’s take a look at the two housemates and see can we tip a genuine winner…or loser (you know what I mean!)

I understand why Shabba is up. She’s annoying, selfish and loud, but I can’t help loving her. I think she’s a catalyst for friction in the BB house and for that very reason I want to keep her in. She wants to get out and have a cushy time doing interviews and magazine shoots…and for that very reason I’m determined she survives this week! Come on folks, she’s not the worst in the world. Another few days in the mad house and we could see a whole new side to the self proclaimed princess!
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Jade Goody turns 26 today. For someone who has said the following, it’s quite a remarkable achievement that she has remembered to keep breathing thus far -

- “The Union Jack is for all of us, but the St George is just for London, isn’t it?”
- “They were trying to use me as an escape goat.”
- “Rio de Janeiro, ain’t that a person?”
- “I look at her and I wanna headbutt her.”

But it hasn’t all been harmless fun. Jade was involved in some of the most disgusting scenes ever broadcast on British television during Celebrity Big Brother:

Oh yeah, and there was all that bullying and racism.